If everyone is agreeing with you then you are in an echo chamber and you have just chosen the people to speak to. Controversy is just saying something that someone else just doesn’t agree with. I’m never afraid to speak about any subject that I have knowledge about as I only say things that I believe is fair.
You can book me for workshops, keynote speaking, coaching, DEI trainings or implementation facilitation here.
Humble yourself
Nowadays I think there is a thin line between fame and infamy, in fact the line is extremely blurred in our contemporary society. People are willing to do anything, even negative and controversial things to gain fame and they are often rewarded for it. Meanwhile, there are others who gain fame simply by living their lives publicly, even if it means exposing their vulnerabilities or flaws. Both groups receive attention and validation, regardless of their actions or intentions.
Know your place
I have developed a resilient mindset in the face of adversity. The truth is I know very well what it’s like to be marginalised and be told subtly or directly that my contribution is not welcome. I have had to tell myself repeatedly, “You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them. If they don’t give you a seat at the table, bring a folding chair.”
Are you open to change?
This week I have attended two conferences: “Ethnic Diversity in Danish Journalism Education” at the Danish Media & Journalist High School and “Role Models Will Create the Diversity of the Future” at the Danish Industry headquarters. Yet again it was confirmed that there are double standards bordering on hypocrisy in the Danish culture, as I think integration is a two-way street and the opportunities within DEI are full of cultural blind-spots. I’m fully aware that you cannot be friends with everyone and that whatever point of view you hold, you will upset someone. Why do HR departments in Denmark never have any ethnic minorities in them? Why do DEI consultants who are from minority backgrounds have less access to the job market?
Be grateful
The essence of mental adjustment and atonement can be summed up in one word: GRATITUDE. It doesn’t matter how disturbed you are, it doesn’t matter what’s bothering you, you can solve whatever it is - just be grateful. Gratitude is everything, it’s the antidote for all stress, anger and frustration, it’s the entire process of mental adjustment. I think that when you change your perception you can change your outlook of life.
““Wait like one who understands.” ”
A fear setting exercise
Tim Ferris c/o YouTube
Fear-setting is an interesting approach to goal setting as it focuses on identifying and addressing our fears rather than just setting goals based on aspirations. Try this fear-setting exercise to set your fears free:
- What are you most scared of?
- What are the worst things that may happen?
I think by looking at what we fear the most and envisioning worst-case scenarios, we can better understand the potential risks and obstacles that may come our way. This exercise can help us to prepare mentally and emotionally for challenges, and even devise strategies to mitigate those risks. In this way we can gain clarity on what truly matters to us and what we need to do to overcome obstacles.
““Marketing is the place that understands and anticipates what people need and desire.””
Seeing things from a different perspective
Do you remember Goldilocks and the Three Bears?
This is a clear illustration of societal conditioning. As you know, Goldilocks is portrayed as a white character with a sense of entitlement, freely acting on her impulses, taking what she wants, and showing little concern for consequences. The narrative appears to condone and even facilitate her inconsiderate behaviour. On the other hand, the Brown Bears are hardworking individuals who maintain their livelihood, food, and lifestyle. Despite Goldilocks' careless actions, the bears are portrayed as submissive, continuing to accommodate her in their home, inadvertently conveying a message of tolerance, acceptance, and patience toward those who resemble the Goldilocks archetype in society.
A thought process
The environment you are in has either a growth mindset or a fixed mindset. A growth mindset is when you are open to challenges, see failures as opportunities for growth, and believe that abilities and intelligence can be developed over time with dedication and effort. A fixed mindset, on the other hand, is when you believe that intelligence and abilities are static traits, leading to a desire to prove oneself and a fear of failure that can hinder learning and personal development. Send me an email in confidence to let me know which mindset characterises your environment?
A pregnancy story
Allyson Felix is the most decorated female track and field athlete in Olympic history, a true great of the sport. Allyson Felix’s Nike contract expired in December 2017, when Felix became pregnant in 2018, Nike asked her to reduce the terms of her contract and take a 70% pay cut, and allegedly they told her to “know your place and run.” Amid all of this, she was forced to have an emergency c-section seven months into her pregnancy because of a potentially life-threatening condition, and her baby had to live for more than a month in the neonatal intensive care unit. Nike and Allyson Felix parted ways in 2019, and created her own brand of running shoes - Saysh One. In 2020, Allyson Felix qualified for her fifth Olympics in Japan wearing her own shoes under the banner “I Know My Place.”
After a broad public outcry and a congressional inquiry, Nike announced a new maternity policy for all sponsored athletes. The new contract guarantees an athlete’s pay and bonuses for 18 months around pregnancy. Subsequently, three other major athletic brands added maternity protections for sponsored athletes.
““Everyone sees the glory moments, but they don’t see what happens behind the scenes.””
Do as you are told
The first time I heard that people don’t want to do anything which is not an assignment or things where they have to take responsibility for was in Denmark. When I dug a little deeper into the psyche, I realised that the first rule of indoctrination is that you are not supposed to know that you have been indoctrinated. And Danes have been indoctrinated from a very young age to be cogs in the industrial system. To do what the teacher says, to do the minimum or else your boss will take more, to try to avoid responsibility and look to the “authorities” for guidance of what to do. I think all of those things are baked into the culture from the day that our children are born in Denmark. Contact me via email to let me know your thoughts on the matter.
Diversity management
Mocambo was the legendary nightclub on Sunset Boulevard on the Sunset Strip in Los Angeles where the Hollywood elite would frequent during the 1940’s and 50’s. Ella Fitzgerald wanted to play there but due to the segregation laws it remained a dream. Marilyn Monroe called the Mocambo owner and told him if he booked Ella, she'd take a front table every night. Ella Fitzgerald became the first black performer at the Mocambo, paving the way for others to follow. And this changed Ella’s career forever, as after Marilyn’s endorsement she never had to play a small jazz club again. This is what true allyship looks like!
When was the last time you put your reputation on the line as an ally by taking action and supporting someone from a marginalised group?
Feeling under appreciated
I have been dealing with a challenging situation. Right now, I feel unappreciated and because I’ve been taken advantage of, and it’s incredibly draining. I think that by prioritising my own mental health is not selfish as it’s essential for my overall happiness and fulfilment. Nowadays, I recognise the importance of setting boundaries and communicating my needs. Surrounding myself with people who appreciate and reciprocate my generosity is crucial for maintaining my well-being.
Throwback Thursday
I don’t think Black people are in the position to be racist because Black people do not have the power or control over the economy, politics, education, recruitment, housing, etc., etc. And if you are in doubt, please watch the “Jane Elliott experiment“ from 1968, it’s a 6 minute video.
““The denial of racism is essential for the survival of racism.””
Plans for the 21st century
The only thing we know about the future is that it will be very different from the present, and it will change at a very rapid rate. We learn new things everyday but mostly one relies on the skills, the worldview, the personality that we acquired in our younger years. People will need very strong psychological resilience to keep learning and changing and throughout their lives. I think to survive and thrive in the 21st century we will require both adaptability and resilience skills.
Fear of the unknown
Everyone makes mistakes, so I think that one should own it, apologise and move on. Don’t spend time explaining or trying to justify yourself even though it’s natural to feel defensive. I think it’s important to understand that human beings don’t always get it right, and you will get it wrong most of the time when you try to defend yourself or make comparisons.
““Sometimes it takes only one act of kindness and caring to change a person’s life.” ”
A judgment one holds as true
In his “The Psychology of Persuasion,” Dr Robert Cialdini laid out six principles of persuasion: reciprocity, scarcity, authority, consistency, liking, and consensus. These principles illuminate the mechanics of persuasion, indicating that we're more susceptible when we perceive a sense of obligation (reciprocity), when rarity is implied (scarcity), when the persuader exudes credibility (authority), when our actions align with past behaviours (consistency), when we harbour positive feelings toward the persuader (liking), and when we observe others following suit. I think persuasion is an intriguing aspect of psychology and it entails guiding someone's beliefs, choices, or behaviours. Failure to engage in independent thinking renders one vulnerable to succumbing to external influences, be they religious, governmental, corporate, or monetary, perpetuating a cycle of ignorance.
The humble calf
““One of the great challenges in this world is knowing enough about a subject to think you’re right, but not enough about the subject to know you’re wrong.””
Pioneering thinking
The circular economy is a system where materials never become waste and nature is regenerated. In a circular economy, products and materials are kept in circulation through processes like maintenance, reuse, refurbishment, remanufacture, recycling, and composting. The consensus is that regenerative sustainability refers to the process of creating economies and communities that heal the planet. I think that regenerative sustainability will take the concept of “sustainability” up to a new level. What do you think?
Encoding and decoding
The art of reading people requires a keen observation of their behaviour, body language, verbal cues, and emotional expressions, all in pursuit of unraveling their inner thoughts, feelings, and intentions. The greatest advantage to possessing the skill of reading people is that it immensely improves our ability to communicate with them. I think by attuning ourselves to the subtle nuances of human interaction, we gain invaluable insights into the perspectives and motives of those around us. It’s a powerful social dynamic and a useful way to facilitate meaningful and harmonious relationships.
Active allyship
Allyship needs to start with an examination of self, to better understand the power, privilege, and access available to you as an individual, as a result of the different identity groups to which you belong. Being an ally also requires deep education about the communities that you’re interested in demonstrating allyship toward. In Denmark, there is a disconnect between how minorities and majority cultures define allyship. The majority culture in Denmark think the most meaningful action they can take is to speak out about gender discrimination, whereas minorities think the best thing an ally can do is advocate for new opportunities. I think that cultural understanding and empathy are crucial for effective allyship efforts in order to have a more inclusive and collaborative approach to addressing issues of inequality and discrimination.