Are you taking responsibility for your life?
What is perfect about this?
How do I want to feel?
What is funny about this?
What can I give?
What can I learn from this?
What’s the solution to this problem?
What is the good news?
Watch out for UPWARD Conversation.
Wise words from Steven Pinker
I came to the topic of common knowledge, that is, everyone knowing that everyone knows that everyone knows something, through my interest in language. In language, most of what we say isn't exactly what we mean. People say things like, if you could pass the salt, that would be awesome. And that's not literally what they mean. They mean, give me the salt. And many of our conversations use euphemism, innuendo, and beating around the bush. How come? Why don't we just blurt what's on our mind? I realized that the answer is that language has to do two things at once. On the one hand, you're conveying a message. The other hand, you are negotiating what kind of social relationship you have. Are you friends? Are you lovers? Are you transaction partners? And that is done through common knowledge. That is, two people are friends if each one knows that the other one knows that the first one knows that the second one knows that they're friends. And so when we use euphemism, I realize what we're doing is we're trying to prevent common knowledge. And that's what led me to the realization that common knowledge is the key to all of our social relationships.
Nobody cares about your agenda
There’s a big difference between telling the others and finding the others. Telling the others comes across as, “I need your support, please tell everyone about me”, but the truth is, no one really cares. Finding the others, on the other hand, means connecting with people who already share your interests, values, or goals. When they support and spread the word, it reflects positively on them and it makes them look smart, connected, and ahead of the curve. And I think that’s something people actually care about. What do you think?
The Penrose triangle
The Penrose triangle, or "impossible triangle," is a fascinating optical illusion first described in the 1950s by mathematician Roger Penrose. It appears to be a solid object, yet it cannot exist in three-dimensional space.
The golden rules
The 5 Golden Rules of Powerful Communication
Take Responsibility: Focus on your own actions and stay accountable.
Be Specific: Clarity and precision strengthen your message.
Ask the Golden Question: “How can I make this right?”
Avoid the Victim or Blame Game: No excuses, no finger-pointing.
Acknowledge the Other Person: Respect who you are speaking with and their story.
The art of persuasion
What does it take to persuade people to act?
I think it comes down to three elements: Logos, Ethos, and Pathos.
1. Logos – Reason
People need to understand why they should act, the logic behind it, the benefits. Here’s the key: those benefits must be communicated from their point of view, not yours. This means the speaker must understand the audience’s assumptions, beliefs, and priorities and speak from there, not from their own agenda.
2. Ethos – Credibility
Who are you, and why should they listen to you?
Credibility comes from two sources:
a) Who you are? Your background, authority, or shared values.
b) How you deliver? The tone, presence, and consistency of your message.
Even if your reasoning is strong, if you lack credibility, your message won’t land.
3. Pathos – Emotion
You can have logic and credibility, but without emotion, people don’t move. Your audience needs to feel something, for example, anger, pride, empathy, hope, even urgency. Emotion creates connection, and connection creates action.
When logos, ethos, and pathos are all present, your message doesn’t just inform it will inspires action.
An underrated power
In a world obsessed with hacks, for example, productivity hacks, fitness hacks, and time-saving tricks, one of life’s simplest and most transformative tools often gets overlooked: good manners. I think being nice and polite might just be the most powerful “hack” of all. Why? Because good manners are contagious.
A kind word, a polite gesture, a thoughtful pause before speaking, all set a tone. They ripple outward, shaping the energy of conversations, relationships, and even entire workplaces. When you say “please” and “thank you” regularly, you are not just following a social script; you are signaling respect, empathy, and intention.
“Manners are a sensitive awareness of feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter what fork you use.””
A free flow
One of the most effective and often overlooked strategies is structured feedback. Whether it comes from direct reports, a coach, or even a partner at home, feedback provides leaders with a mirror. It reveals whether intentions are aligning with impact. Yet, in many organisations, feedback remains a neglected tool. Surprisingly, a significant number of senior leaders have never received direct, developmental feedback. Even more striking: many are deeply uncomfortable giving it. Why? I think it’s because feedback is often framed as criticism rather than what it truly is a tool for growth, a signal of trust, and a lever for accountability. When feedback is seen as a gift, it opens the door to real-time course correction and continuous improvement.
Finding truth in fiction
The above image has been my Facebook banner since 2013. It was taken in Sachsenhausen (Frankfurt) around that period.
The past few years have been destabilising, leaving many people questioning what’s true and what they believe. Fear is rampant, and extremists are thriving on it, I think mistrust in Western society is at an all-time high. One of the reasons I love fiction is that I don’t have to question whether it’s real. This makes me more open to the messages it conveys. When something is presented as fact, I have to ask: Who said it? Where did it come from? Is it credible? Can it be backed up with data? With fiction, I can simply engage with the world the author has created. I don’t need to verify its reality. I can accept, challenge, or respond to its ideas however I choose. In a strange way, fiction can reveal deeper truths about reality.
Everyone is capable of being toxic
There is a difference between emotional invalidation and gaslighting. Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation where someone intentionally causes another person to doubt their feelings, memories, or perception of reality. The goal is often to control or undermine the other person. For example, a gaslighter might say, “You’re imagining things” or “You’re too sensitive” to dismiss valid concerns. In contrast, emotional invalidation happens when someone dismisses or minimises your feelings, often shifting the focus away from your concerns. While this behaviour can be hurtful or defensive, it isn’t necessarily gaslighting unless there’s a pattern of making you question the legitimacy of your emotions or reality.
Trust your instinct
I help individuals develop a success-oriented mindset. I think by trusting your instincts and leveraging the power of storytelling, you can highlight the unique story that sets your business apart. Focus on solving meaningful problems as this is the foundation of true impact. Remember, understanding the difference between being right and achieving success is key to long-term growth.
“We don’t build trust by offering help, we build trust by asking for it.”
Tell your story
What have you changed your mind about over the last 12 months?
We often celebrate people who stick to their beliefs and are eventually proven right, for example, leaders who resist pressure to change their approach and succeed. And I think it's easy to feel validated when that happens, however, I've been wrong om many occasions in different situations, and it’s been a humbling experience. Over the last year, I become disillusioned with humanity, particularly when I think about how people behave when they believe no one is watching. It’s unsettling to imagine the choices people make when they feel they can act without consequence. I have found myself wondering, when given the option, will people choose justice? My perspective has changed and I’m no longer as cynical as I used to be. I’ve become more hopeful, hopeful that when good people come together and work with other good people, they can truly make a difference and create positive change.
Word salad
I think faith and doubt are both beliefs. Most people think faith is belief and doubt are the absence of belief. Faith is the belief of the outcome I desire, and doubt is the belief of the outcome I don’t desire. When I have more belief in the outcome, I don’t desire than in the outcome I do desire, I have doubt, and I don’t have faith. And both of them are a belief.
Minimise misunderstandings
c/o LinkedIn
I strongly believe in the importance of structure, as it is an incredibly powerful tool for all forms of communication, especially when answering a spontaneous question or speaking impromptu. When engaging in off-the-cuff communication, you face two fundamental tasks: deciding what to say and how to say it. I think structure provides you with the "how to say it" part, by offering a step-by-step recipe for effective delivery. For example, if you are asked to describe your company's mission on the spot, you can use a simple structure: start with a brief overview of the mission, explain why it matters, and conclude with an example of how it is being implemented. This approach ensures your response is clear, concise, and impactful.
““The quieter you become, the more you hear.””
Turn down the volume
When I was a child, I used to play a lot of Scrabble, so I realised that both “listen” and “silent” have the same letters. As an adult, I understand that to be a good listener we need to first learn how to be silent. Often in conversations, we listen to respond rather than to understand. When we do this, we shut off our brains because we are focused on what we will say next. Instead, I think we should listen to learn and understand. When listening to someone, your next sentence should be a question that shows you are trying to understand. This approach will help you provide better guidance and advice as a mentor and leader.
You'll never know
I think that the two most powerful tools that we possess as humans to combat discrimination, bias, and prejudice are the capacity for deep communication and empathy. While no two persons are the same, and we will never know what it is like to live their lives, we can get closer through empathy. Empathy allows us to walk in another person's shoes, empowering us to see beyond our own biases and adopt different perspectives. This is an important attribute for marketers, as market segments may interpret data differently than we do. It is important to be conscious and sensitive to intersections and foster diversity and inclusion with the choices we make and for the consumer.
““You have to wear the shoes to know where it hurts.””
Encoding and decoding
The art of reading people requires a keen observation of their behaviour, body language, verbal cues, and emotional expressions, all in pursuit of unraveling their inner thoughts, feelings, and intentions. The greatest advantage to possessing the skill of reading people is that it immensely improves our ability to communicate with them. I think by attuning ourselves to the subtle nuances of human interaction, we gain invaluable insights into the perspectives and motives of those around us. It’s a powerful social dynamic and a useful way to facilitate meaningful and harmonious relationships.
You have to choose
I am always trying to understand:
What are people looking for?
Why are things the way they are?
Why is the layout the way it is?
If it is not working on me, why is it working on other people?
What kind of world view would make this communication effective?
““If you are free, you need to free somebody else. If you have some power, then your job is to empower somebody else.””
Change is on its way
Communication comes in both words and deeds, so clear procedures, goals, methods, and deadlines are required. In successful transformations, leaders actively look for ways to obtain clear performance improvements, establish goals in an annual planning system, achieve these objectives, and reward the people involved with recognition, promotions, or financial incentives. Nothing undermines the communication of a change vision more than the behaviour on the part of key players that seems inconsistent with the vision. I think attitude training is just as important as skills training as guilt, political considerations and concerns over short-term results stop people from having honest discussions. It’s not possible to change habits built up over years and in some cases decades after only one workshop.
Contact me via e-mail to book an appointment.
““Language isn’t just a means of communication, it’s a reservoir of memory, tradition, and heritage.” ”
How to influence perception?
Positioning plays a crucial role in defining how a product stands out in the market by delivering specific value to a well-defined group of customers. I think it's essentially about creating a distinct place in the consumer's mind where they perceive the product as uniquely addressing their needs or desires. Starting a conversation with a customer by discussing product positioning is strategic because it sets the stage for understanding the product's relevance and differentiation. By shaping the consumer's perception and expectations, product positioning provides context that answers fundamental questions:
– What is the product?
– What does it offer?
– And why should the customer care?
This context is essential for customers to grasp the value proposition and make informed decisions about whether the product aligns with their needs and preferences.