coaching

Measuring the impact of coaching

What are we actually measuring when we measure the impact of coaching?

It could be technical capability, cognitive skills, emotional intelligence, confidence, behaviour or other human growth skills. The important question is not whether someone has changed, it’s whether that change is contributing to what matters to the organisation. I think a return on investment (ROI) is what matters to the organisation. And it’s our responsibility to identify meaningful indicators and show evidence that something is changing as a result of the coaching. This could include productivity, efficiency, employee satisfaction, leadership behaviour, confidence, decision-making or collaboration.

The impact should go beyond the individual, for example, Are you changing the culture? Are leaders telling a different story? Are behaviours changing across the organisation? Are you building a team rather than simply bringing together a group of people? Ultimately, measuring coaching impact is about connecting individual growth to organisational outcomes. Are people not only becoming better at what they do, and changing how they think, behave and work together?

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Listening over telling

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Lead with your competencies, because they can be a proxy for your experience. Expertise is built through the repeated delivery of excellence. So ask yourself: What are your strongest functional leadership competencies, and can you demonstrate them consistently?

Reputation and credibility are built on strength of character, reliability and trustworthiness. People need to know that they can rely on you, particularly when the pressure is on. Capability is about demonstrating that you know how to get things done. Are you a good problem solver? Are you resourceful? Can you navigate complexity, find solutions and mobilise what is needed? Leadership requires you to stay on top of your game and continue developing your capability.

Then there is commitment. Will you see it through? Are you tenacious when things become difficult? Can you align the necessary resources, maintain momentum and hold yourself and others accountable for delivering what you have committed to? Competence may get you noticed. I think credibility, capability and commitment are what allow people to trust you with responsibility.

Are you interested in working with someone who asks you questions that make you question yourself? If so, contact me here for a complimentary discovery call.

““Difficult times will define you, they may diminish you or develop you. It’s up to you to decide.””
— Burrellism

Centre yourself

I am not an expert. I am simply a human stumbling through life, learning from the people I meet and the experiences I have along the way. One of the things I have learned, particularly from spending time with professional athletes and asking them how they respond under pressure, is the importance of what happens in the body before we try to change what is happening in the mind.

When we experience pressure, our emotional state can show up physically: tension, a racing heart, shallow breathing, a feeling of being on edge. The athletes I spoke to described the importance of releasing that tension, grounding themselves and becoming present before they perform. They were not trying to convince themselves that everything was fine. They were creating the physical and mental conditions that allowed them to perform at their best. That made me think about emotional choice differently. Rather than immediately asking, “What should I say to myself?”, I think we should first ask: What am I feeling about this situation and this person? And what emotion do I want to bring into the room?

The ripple effect

I recently heard a great definition of charisma, it was described as empathy combined with authority. I think it is the ability to make people feel that you genuinely care about them, while also giving them confidence that you can lead, protect and guide them. You don’t have to be likeable or have a strong presence. By simply challenging what you know and staying curious you will automatically make people feel both seen and safe.

Polishing the mirror

Life is not static, and I am constantly challenging what I think I know. I am fortunate to keep meeting people who see me as an authentic person, and with the knowledge that being authentic also comes with a huge responsibility. If I am asking others to reflect, learn and grow, then I have to be willing to do the same. Learning as a support professional and as a coach is essential. It is a lifelong journey, and given the complexity of the world we are living in, we need to constantly tune in, challenge ourselves and, metaphorically, polish the mirror so that we remain truly fit for purpose.

I tend to use systems-thinking approaches because it is important to see the connections, connect the dots and not be afraid of complexity. People, behaviours, teams and organisations do not exist in isolation. What happens in one part of a system can influence everything else. It is also important to go deeper within ourselves and connect with our own essence. I think when we become more aware of who we are, we become better able to recognise and understand the essence of others. In my work with leaders, I have the privilege of being close to what is happening within their teams and organisations. I get to see the challenges, the opportunities, the tensions and the possibilities as they emerge. That is why I have to keep polishing my own mirror. If I want to help others see more clearly, I have to be willing to look clearly at myself.

Don't give away your power

I avoid complainers and blamers because, when blaming becomes a pattern, accountability disappears. There will always be things that happen to us that are outside our control. Other people will make decisions we do not agree with, circumstances will change, and things will go wrong. I think when we constantly blame others for what happens, we give away our agency, and we become focused on what the world is doing to us rather than asking, “What can I do about it?”

When you have a goal in life, one of the things that can stop you from achieving it is becoming trapped in a cycle of blaming and complaining. You become a recipient of what everyone else is doing rather than an active participant in what happens next. Accountability means recognising what is within your control and taking responsibility for what you do with it. You cannot control everyone around you, but you can work on maintaining control over yourself, as that is where your agency begins.

Information does not create change

I have always been fascinated by behavioural psychology, and my work as an ICF-accredited coach has deepened that interest. One question I keep coming back to is: How do you know what to say, or what question to ask, that will help someone see something differently and ultimately change their behaviour?

We can give people information. We can teach them new concepts, frameworks and processes. I think information alone rarely creates lasting behavioural change. If learning remains purely intellectual, we are competing with everything else demanding their attention. For information to become meaningful, it needs to connect with the person. It needs to feel relevant. It needs to have personal significance and, often, an emotional connection that makes them think:
“This matters to me.”
“This could help me achieve something I care about.”

That is when learning has a greater chance of being remembered, integrated and applied. This is why simply telling people what to do is often an inefficient way of creating behavioural change. Information can create understanding, and understanding does not automatically create action. The real challenge is helping people make the connection between what they know and what they actually do. That is where coaching becomes powerful as it creates the space for people to stop, reflect, make meaning, challenge their assumptions and discover something for themselves. And I think when the insight becomes their insight, the possibility of change becomes much greater.

““Your success in life will be determined largely by your ability to speak, your ability to write, and the quality of your ideas. In that order.””
— Patrick Winston

Difficult conversations

Before you enter into a difficult conversation with someone, start by opening your mind with curiosity. Tell yourself: I don't know how this person sees the world, and I don't have all the answers. If you already know what you are going to say, there is very little space left for a conversation. And if you have already decided how the other person is going to respond, you may end up listening only for what confirms what you already believe.

I think if we want to help people reconsider how they think, perhaps the answer isn't to tell them what to think. It is to create the space for them to think differently.

  1. Get them to stop and reflect on what they think and feel.

  2. Ask questions that encourage them to question their own assumptions.

  3. Help them articulate what else could be true, possible or worth considering.

You cannot force someone to change their mind, all you can ask questions that create enough space for them to question their own thinking. So, are you interested in working with someone who asks you questions that make you question yourself? If so, contact me here for a complimentary discovery call.

A broader coaching philosophy

What happens when we start paying attention to the cultures, behaviours and contradictions around us?

We all get stuck in our thinking. We develop ways of seeing the world, and over time those ways of seeing can become so familiar that we struggle to recognise other possibilities. I think sometimes we resist a new idea or a different way of doing something without really understanding why. Our assumptions become so embedded that we do not stop to question where they come from or whether they still serve us.

This is where leadership can make a real difference. A leader can say something, or ask a question, that makes us stop and think about the way we think. Not to give us the answer, but to create enough space for us to question our own assumptions. Perhaps this is where uncertainty becomes valuable. When we are no longer certain that our way is the only way, we become more open to curiosity, learning and growth. I think sometimes, not knowing is exactly where learning begins.

Presence over perfection

““The best leaders make us feel uncomfortable and unsure. And then we grow.” ”
— Marcia Reynolds

They want you to be present more than they need you to be perfect. Sometimes, the most valuable thing we can do is help people see their blind spots and recognise the sources of their resistance. This can be uncomfortable as they may feel embarrassed, frustrated or even angry. In reality, discomfort can also create awareness, and awareness creates the possibility for growth. And I do this through courageous coaching and conscious listening.

I listen carefully, reflect back what I hear and sense, and create the space for people to see what may otherwise remain hidden from them. I am not there to tell people what they should see, I just help them see it for themselves. This is because coaching is not only about helping people do their jobs well. It is about helping them understand themselves more deeply, challenge what is holding them back, and step more fully into who they are capable of becoming.

Interested in coaching? Contact me via this link for an online complimentary discovery meeting.

Dream outcomes

Many coaching session starts with this question: What would be important for you to achieve in this session?

The goal belongs to the client, not the coach. Perhaps they want to be seen differently as a leader, have a difficult conversation, understand a recurring reaction, gain more confidence, or simply make sense of something that is happening.

From there, we explore. I listen carefully to what they are saying, reflect what I am hearing, and ask questions that help them look at the situation from different perspectives. We explore the thoughts, emotions, assumptions, beliefs and behaviours sitting beneath the issue.

Sometimes I might say: “This is what I hear you saying. I wonder if this is what is happening underneath it, but I could be wrong.”

The aim is not for me to provide the answer. It is to help the person discover something for themselves. When they say, “I get it,” I might ask: “What is it that you have got?” That question matters, as articulating the new awareness helps turn an insight into something they can actually use.

Then we move towards action: What are you going to do with this awareness? What will you do differently? What are you willing to commit to?

Coaching creates a space where you can put your dreams, fears, emotions and assumptions on the table, step back from them, and ask: What is really going on here? I think this is where clarity begins.

Grounded in compassion

People will do what they need to do, but if you want that incremental increase, for example, if you want people to genuinely give their best then they have to want to do it. There has to be inspiration, and there has to be a sense of drive. So, do you simply want people to do what they have to do, or do you want them to give more? If it is the latter, that requires having real conversations with them. And, I think at first, those conversations can be difficult. Just think back to a time in your own life when someone said something to you that perhaps didn’t sound good at the time, but ultimately changed your life forever. Sometimes, the conversations we need most are not necessarily the ones we want to hear.

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Do you want to hear more?

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There is something deeper here because if I need to believe that I am a good person, admitting that I have made a mistake can feel like a threat to my identity. I may become defensive, justify my behaviour, or focus more on protecting my self-image than understanding the impact of my actions. The more secure I am in who I am, the easier it becomes to say, “I got this wrong. What can I learn from it?”

I think that this is the kind of environment organisations should create from the moment someone joins a team. Not an environment without accountability, but one where accountability and humanity can coexist. Psychological safety is not about making people comfortable all the time, it’s about creating enough trust for people to be honest, especially when things become uncomfortable. And that trust is essential for learning, development, collaboration, and innovation.

If you are ready to invest in your growth as a leader, contact me via this link to explore how executive coaching could support your next step.

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The best leaders

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The best leaders I have encountered throughout my career share three essential qualities: courage, integrity, and communication.

1. Courage
The courage to speak truth to power, to be honest about your own strengths and shortcomings, and to have the difficult conversations, even when you know what you have to say may be uncomfortable or hurt someone’s feelings. True leadership also means standing by your people when things go wrong: I believe in you, and if everything goes south, I will still be there with you.

2. Integrity
The commitment to do the right thing, even when it is difficult, unpopular, or comes at a personal cost. Integrity is about ensuring that your actions consistently reflect your values.

3. Communication
The ability to listen as well as speak. Good leaders create the conditions for people to feel heard, understood, and able to express themselves openly. Communication is not simply about getting your message across; it is about creating genuine understanding and connection.

If you are ready to invest in your growth as a leader, contact me via this link to explore how executive coaching could support your next step.

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When we work with others

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Emotional intelligence does not stop with self-awareness because it’s equally important that we recognise and manage our own emotions while developing the empathy to understand situations from another person’s perspective. In other words, step into their shoes and consider what they might be experiencing, thinking, or feeling. I think this is particularly important in today’s increasingly global and cross-cultural workplaces. When people come from different cultural backgrounds, they may express emotions, communicate concerns, or interpret situations in very different ways. Being attuned to those differences helps us navigate the complexity of human interaction, build stronger relationships, and create environments where people can work together more effectively. Emotional intelligence is therefore not simply about understanding emotions. It is about using that understanding to make better decisions, build stronger relationships, and lead with greater awareness and empathy.

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High EQ

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Get to know each person on your team and understand what makes them tick. Be clear about your expectations and the behaviours that are important to being part of the team. Ask for and give feedback regularly and, where possible, in the moment. Over time, this helps you build a reputation as a strong and trustworthy leader. Create a team culture where people feel safe, supported, and able to grow. I can often see what you haven't said, and I can hear what you haven't said. That can sometimes unsettle people, particularly those who may already feel insecure or threatened, so I have learned that how you use that awareness matters.

I am two metres tall, so I can naturally intimidate people without intending to. One of the ways I have learned to manage that is by sitting down when I speak with someone. It changes the dynamic, helps people feel more comfortable, and signals that they are in a safe space to speak openly and that they can trust me. I think emotional intelligence in leadership is the capacity to be aware of your own presence and influence, regulate and express your emotions appropriately, and build interpersonal relationships with empathy, judgement, and intention.

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All decisions are emotional

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Almost every business decision we make is influenced by emotion. We may believe that choice A is better than choice B, but our judgement is often shaped by how we feel, our experiences, our assumptions, and our gut instincts. That is why self-awareness is so important. We need to understand our own emotions and where they come from in order to better understand our motivations, fears, limitations, and strengths. The more aware we are of what drives us, the better equipped we are to make thoughtful decisions rather than simply reacting to how we feel in the moment.

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It's OK

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Why is it so hard to admit a mistake? And why does it get harder the higher up you go?

I hear a version of this in almost every coaching conversation I have with senior leaders. Not "I don't know what I got wrong," they usually know exactly. It's "I can't be the one to say it out loud." The fear is not irrational as admitting error at a senior level carries real risk to credibility, to authority, to how you are read by the people who decide what happens next. I think the cost of not admitting it doesn't disappear, it just gets paid by everyone below you, in the form of the same mistake happening again.

This is often where the work of coaching sits: not in supplying the answer, but in giving someone a confidential space to say the thing they cannot yet say in the room, and to work out what it would take to say it there. Organisations need role models who admit when they were wrong. A culture where mistakes surface openly is the only kind where innovation and creativity genuinely exist. And If mistakes do not surface, they happen again and again.

Trust the process

I spend most of my working life between two groups: internationals finding their footing in Denmark, and Danes trying to understand them. What strikes me is how often people on both sides are performing a version of themselves they think the situation requires.

I think you can begin to recognise the beliefs you have inherited from your experiences and ask: is this actually who I am, or is this what I learned I had to become in order to cope? This is where coaching can be valuable as sometimes we don't need someone to tell us what to do. We need someone who can sit with us in the uncertainty, listen without judgement, challenge the stories we have come to believe about ourselves, and help us see possibilities we could not see on our own. That is what coaching offers: a confidential space to examine your patterns, rebuild trust in your own judgement, and begin making choices aligned with your values rather than your fears.

If you are ready to start questioning what no longer serves you, let's talk. Contact me via this link to arrange a conversation.

Your pattern becomes your reputation

How do you consistently show up? In emails, in different conversations, in quiet moments when no-one is watching? What is your pattern of behaviour? What pattern are you creating? Your worth is not determined by how others have treated you. Your value is inherent and no amount of disrespect can take that away. Healing starts when you begin to challenge that voice in your head that says you are not enough. It’s a slow process, and I think every small step toward recognising your worth is a step in the right direction. You deserve people who see you, hear you and value you.