Have you ever tried to change the behaviour of a partner or spouse who had no interest in changing? Or a teenager who just wasn’t having it? How did that work out?
In my coaching practice, when clients are motivated, open, and committed to doing the work, they always move forward, not because I say so, but because they say so. Everything we discuss is 100% confidential. Please note that before our first session, we will both sign a non-disclosure agreement to ensure your privacy and trust are fully protected.
Hire an expert
Leadership development isn’t just about attending inspiring keynotes or completing DEI training programs, it’s about what happens afterward. If your leader returned from such a program and never shared what they learned or how it might influence the team, you likely felt disappointed or disconnected. That silence speaks volumes about your leader.
I think real growth comes from implementation, not just insight. I believe in a leadership development process that is not only proven but practical. One that can be developed, coached, and scaled through partnerships, because leadership isn’t theoretical: you can’t learn to swim by reading a book. The real challenge isn’t understanding leadership, it’s practicing it, consistently and courageously, in everyday interactions.
Think like a coach
I have written on numerous occasions about both the growth and fixed mindsets, but as I am currently studying for my ICF accreditation, I want to focus on the coaching mindset. Our mindset serves as the reference point by which we interpret our thoughts and frame the world around us. As coaches, having a coaching mindset is crucial. The more awareness we have both of our clients and of the coaching process itself, the deeper and more transformative our work with clients can be.
Increased trust and relatability
Coaching effectiveness is influenced by a variety of factors, and research suggests that racial and cultural alignment can significantly enhance engagement, trust, and overall outcomes. A 2020 study published in the Journal of Business and Psychology found that employees are more likely to trust and actively engage with mentors and leaders who share similar racial or ethnic backgrounds. This shared experience fosters deeper connections and strengthens the coaching relationship. Similarly, the International Coaching Federation (ICF) underscores the importance of cultural competence, emphasising that coaches who understand and reflect their clients’ backgrounds are better equipped to tailor their approach to meet specific needs.
We are all being shaped
As leaders, we are often encouraged to focus on external metrics, for example, visibility, performance, recognition. When we neglect the internal work, we risk losing our centre. Blaming society or systems may feel justified, and it also gives away our power. Yes, we have all been shaped, some may say manipulated by the pace of social media and the pressure to stay constantly "on." And in that, many have drifted from the deeper roots of community whether that’s Church, Synagogue, Mosque, or simply meaningful service to others. In my opinion, you can't lead with clarity if your life is led by everything else around you. I think by reclaiming your focus, values, and connection it isn’t just personal, it’s part of your leadership responsibility.
The importance of letting go
When you face criticism, see it as an opportunity to sharpen your focus and reaffirm your commitment to your vision. There’s a key difference between focus and attachment. Focus is rooted in clarity and intention, it’s about knowing what you want and why you want it. Attachment, on the other hand, is about trying to control the outcome, often driven by fear or a sense of lack. When you're attached to a specific result, you may inadvertently block the very thing you're trying to attract. Instead, practice focusing on what you desire, then release your grip on how and when it will come. Trust that the universe or life itself knows the best way to bring your vision into reality. Be open to possibilities you may not have considered. Focus on the what and the why, and let the universe take care of the how and when.
I think it’s essential to remember that maintaining your focus when things don’t go as planned is just as important. These moments may be invitations to grow, opportunities to become the person who is not only capable of achieving, but also sustaining, what you truly want.
Nature is our teacher
Self-assessment is a superpower as it allows you to challenge and change self-limiting beliefs, giving you the ability to choose your emotional state rather than be at the mercy of it. The more aware you become, the more power you have to direct your focus and attract what you truly want. While humans are self-aware, the contents of our minds differ because we all have unique life experiences. As a result, our unconscious mind is often in a constant state of judging, complaining, liking, and disliking, based on what it believes to be true. I understand that if you grow up rooting for one sports team, you may be told to hate another, but if you consciously observe this belief, you may ask: Why should hate exist at all?
Building interpersonal skills
If you really want to learn more, start by listening more. It sounds simple but listening with the intent to understand and not to reply is one of the most overlooked leadership skills. Real learning begins when we create space for others to speak, and when we resist the urge to fill that space with our own voice. Nobody has ever learned anything new by dominating the conversation or hearing themselves talk. I think listening is where insight, trust, and real connections are built.
““The capacity to learn is a gift; the ability to learn is a skill; the willingness to learn is a choice.””
Coaching isn’t a quick fix
As a coach, I can share the research, the data, and the average return on investment, but I can’t and definitely won’t promise specific outcomes. There are too many “get rich quick” or “guaranteed weight loss” schemes online. That’s not what coaching is, and it's unethical for coaches to make those kinds of claims. Instead, do good. Seek out opportunities to do good proactively. Here are five ways you can do that:
Educate yourself
Learn about diversity, inclusion, psychological safety, cultural awareness, and access barriers. Stay curious.Self-assess
Ask yourself: “Where am I now?” “How am I doing?” “How am I coming across to others?”I have a leadership assessment form available, just send me an email and I’ll be happy to share it with you.Practice self-reflection
Regularly ask: “What impact am I having?” and “How am I showing up in my actions and words?”Communicate your openness
Diversity isn’t only visual. Ask yourself: “How am I communicating what I value and who I serve?”Expand access
Coaching can be transformative. I constantly consider how I can increase access to it for people who may not be able to afford it.
Consider the power dynamics
c/o Shamillah Wilson ©
How do I, as a coach, embody and demonstrate professionalism, collaboration, humanity, and equity?
There is a strong emphasis on diversity, equity, inclusion, and belonging. This means recognising the identities of different groups, treating people fairly, and understanding that bias and systemic inequality exist, even when they are unintentional or go unnoticed. Our personal beliefs may say one thing, but our actions, biases, and the systems we operate within may tell a different story. That’s why I think it’s essential to engage in self-reflection, challenge assumptions, and actively work toward creating equitable spaces. What do you think?
Hold space for others
How are you holding space for others to thrive?
I think self-awareness is a key component of success in the DEI space. There is so much nuance and ambiguity in DEI work that many of the necessary skills will develop over time. Much of the knowledge required to become a subject matter expert comes from lived experience, trial, and error. Many traditional frameworks and approaches to DEI have failed in the past…
In a world where everything revolves around technology, we must not forget the crucial role that human emotions play.
Skin in the game
In my experience, I have discovered a crucial factor that determines the effectiveness of leadership development, having “skin in the game.” Over the years, I have shared leadership insights and strategies with many professionals, sometimes for free and sometimes for a fee. A striking pattern emerged, when people received guidance for free, they rarely implemented it. However, when they paid for the same advice, implementation rates skyrocketed. This observation highlights an important truth: commitment increases when there is something at stake. In our society, money is a common way to ensure this commitment. When individuals invest financially in their growth, they are more likely to take action and extract value from the experience.
Coaching keys
c/o Forbes ©
A good coach delivers key qualities that foster growth and success, including:
Self-belief
Self-motivation
Choice
Clarity
Commitment
Awareness
Responsibility
Action
Confidentiality is a fundamental principle of coaching, ensuring that any information obtained during the coaching engagement remains protected unless explicit consent is given for its release. However, confidentiality may be broken if the client expresses intent to harm themselves or others, or if disclosure is required by law.
Silence is golden
Yesterday, I was asked for a list of clients, and I explained that my coaching clients are confidential. As a result, I cannot reveal the names of the individuals, organisations or companies with whom I work with. Confidentiality is the essence of my business ethics, all my clients sign NDAs, and I promise not to use their names or affiliations for any promotional purposes. However, they are free to refer me to their colleagues, family, or friends.
Marking the moment
When a leader demoralises an entire team by undermining a project, when a team member checks out and doesn’t pull their weight, or when a bully forces a future star to quit the organisation, we too often shrug our shoulders and justify it. We tell ourselves that this person has tenure, possesses key vocational skills, or simply insist, “He really isn’t that bad.” I think by doing so, we signal to everyone else that poor behaviour is acceptable and that competence or longevity excuses toxicity.
Over time, this tolerance erodes trust, stifles innovation, and drives top talent away. Those who remain become disengaged, wary of stepping forward for fear that bad actors will continue unchecked. The cost of inaction isn’t just a hit to morale, it’s lost productivity, damaged reputations, and an organisational culture that rewards survival over excellence.The real question isn’t whether we can afford to challenge these individuals, but whether we can afford not to.
The Oscar coaching model
The O.S.C.A.R. model makes sense as a solution-focused coaching framework as it effectively emphasises goal setting, understanding the present state, evaluating choices, taking action, and reviewing progress. The flow is logical and encourages forward momentum rather than dwelling on problems.
Outcome - Define the desired outcome and set clear goals for the session.
Situation - Understand the client’s current circumstances and emotions.
Choices & Consequences - Explore potential choices and their impacts.
Actions - Identify the next steps to move forward.
Review - Plan for follow-up and progress assessment.
Change your mindset
Would you like to strengthen your confidence and boldness?
Over the past decade, you've likely heard about the difference between a fixed mindset and a growth mindset. The key to becoming mentally stronger lies in habits. Having studied habit formation for the past six years, I’ve learned that repetition is essential, and success depends on the systems and frameworks we put in place. Many people believe their brains are wired in a fixed way, making it difficult for them to challenge that notion. Self-regulation is tough, but as a coach, I am here to support you and hold you accountable.
Challenging assumptions
One of the biggest challenges in coaching a sales team is bridging the gap between varying levels of skill and motivation to ensure that every member can contribute meaningfully to collective success. Rather than simply elevating the lowest common denominator, effective coaching focuses on unlocking individual potential, fostering a culture of continuous growth, and creating synergy within the team. My approach centres on aligning both the head and heart, I mean engaging team members both intellectually and emotionally, so that they operate with clarity, confidence, and a shared sense of purpose.
Contact me via email to schedule a 1:1 meeting.
Separate but equal
““Strength is the product of struggle, you must do what others don’t to achieve what others won’t.””
Encourage creative thinking
Encouraging creative thinking and embracing new ideas are essential responsibilities of an effective leader, as innovation fuels progress and keeps teams engaged. To cultivate a culture where creativity thrives, leaders must create a safe and supportive environment that allows individuals to experiment, take calculated risks, and view failures as valuable learning opportunities rather than setbacks. By fostering an atmosphere where employees feel empowered to share fresh perspectives and challenge conventional thinking, you not only inspire greater innovation but also drive the organisation forward in an ever-evolving business landscape.
If you're ready to enhance your leadership skills and create a more engaged, motivated, and high-performing team, let's connect. Contact me via email to schedule a 1:1 discovery meeting and take the next step in your leadership journey.