coaching

Emotional choice

Emotions such as happiness and gratitude are largely processed cognitively through neurochemicals like dopamine and serotonin. Many of the emotional responses leaders experience under pressure, however, are adrenaline-driven and felt physically in the body. These responses directly influence presence, decision-making, and leadership impact.

I first recognised this dynamic in high-pressure performance environments, where physical tension signalled emotional reactivity. By learning to release tension and ground myself, I gained the ability to intentionally choose my emotional state. This approach was not based on self-talk, which often reinforced self-criticism, but on embodied awareness and presence. The result was greater focus, clarity, and the ability to operate effectively under pressure.

For leaders, emotional choice begins with noticing physical signals. Releasing tension and reconnecting with the emotional state you want to lead from allows you to respond rather than react. Emotions shape behaviour and influence others more powerfully than words, making emotional regulation a critical leadership capability.

The value of coaching

A coach is a dedicated partner in your development, helping you clarify your goals, define what you want to achieve, and align your actions with your aspirations. Through a safe and reflective environment, a coach supports meaningful self-discovery, encourages deeper insight, and listens with empathy while serving as a strategic thought partner. By asking powerful questions, a coach helps uncover solutions, expand perspectives, and strengthen both leadership capability and self-awareness. A coach also challenges limiting assumptions, guides you in articulating your core values, and provides consistent accountability to ensure follow-through and sustained progress. Interested?

Contact with me via this link to schedule a complimentary 30-minute discovery call.

Everyone has capital

As we move through life, our relationship with time and resources shifts. Youth often gives us an abundance of time with limited financial means. Later in life, we tend to accumulate more capital, yet the time available to enjoy it becomes more restricted. This makes intentional living more important.

How seriously do you take your appearance and the impression you create?
Do you have a clear plan for your personal and professional growth?
Have you built a kindness practice that shapes how you show up for others and for yourself?
In your daily actions, how do you demonstrate excellence?

These questions help anchor our choices and ensure that the way we live aligns with what we value most. If this feels familiar, contact with me via this link to schedule a complimentary 30-minute discovery call.

Everything will be better when

“My schedule is intense right now. Work and family commitments require constant attention, and the pressure from always-on technology adds another layer to it. I do not often express this, but the pace can feel overwhelming. Even so, I am addressing several major challenges, and I expect the most demanding part of this period to ease within three to four months. When that happens, I plan to take two to three weeks to reset. I will focus on my family, regain structure, and begin a healthier routine. I believe that this shift will put me on a more sustainable path.”

If this feels familiar, contact with me via this link to schedule a complimentary 30-minute discovery call.

““Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” ”
— Viktor Frankl

Controlled exposure

Do you understand that human beings operate within hierarchies?

This realisation was difficult for me to accept. I wanted to believe that we naturally function as an egalitarian collective where everyone stands on equal footing and where our efforts move us toward fairness.

Through my work and study, I learned that much of our interaction happens beyond words. NLP practitioners often say that only a small percentage of communication is verbal, the rest lives in our voice, tone, posture, timing, and pauses. These elements create meaning long before the actual words reach the listener.

My interest in persuasion, communication, marketing, and coaching has led me to study how human beings operate at both conscious and unconscious levels. I focus on how I present myself, as well as the social dynamics that shape relationships. I think body language, mindset shifts, and environmental cues all influence how others interpret who we are. Controlled exposure is my approach to developing deeper awareness of these dynamics. Every interaction becomes an opportunity to understand myself, understand others, and navigate the unspoken hierarchies that exist in every human group.

Defrosting the mind

Life is simple to analyse and far more demanding to experience. My coaching supports real people as they navigate real-world behaviour change. As your coach, I understand that leadership involves defining direction and strategy while also embodying the qualities that give that direction credibility: courage, trustworthiness, support, and empowerment.
Interested? Book a complimentary 30 minute session via this link.

No one wants to be average

Leaders are consistently navigating change and uncertainty. I think it’s important to remember that leadership is not about me, it’s about the people I lead.

Here are a couple of lessons that I have learned in 2025:

  1. Our biggest challenge as a coach is customer selection. If you pick the right customer, you win and if you pick the wrong customer you lose.

  2. Don’t let coaching become about your own self or ego or how smart you are, make it about the great people you coach and how proud you are about them.

 

Confidence grows from competency

The voice in your mind is powerful, and it does not always reflect the truth. If your aim is peak performance at the level of a professional athlete, you will benefit from having a coach. The more deeply you understand something, the more capable you feel when facing it. Malcolm Gladwell once noted that mastery develops after 10,000 hours of practice. The challenge is that very few people have invested that level of time in understanding themselves. When you dedicate time to self-awareness, you strengthen a foundation no one else can dictate. When you know who you are, another person’s opinion cannot define your identity or your potential.

True confidence comes from self-knowledge, remember that it is easy to feel confident when circumstances are smooth. The real test is whether your confidence remains when conditions become difficult. Self-understanding reminds you that you are not the situation in front of you because you exist beyond it. If this resonates with you, book a 30-minute discovery session with me via this link.

ABC = Always Be Contracting

Many clients are not fully aware of what coaching can offer. This is why I aim to engage them as active partners in the coaching process. Through collaborative inquiry, we explore what the most meaningful and beneficial work could look like for them. For example,
What would open a deeper sense of purpose in their lives?
How can they grow their capacity as leaders?
Who else needs to be involved?
Which additional voices can help us understand the wider system in which they operate?

This is the essence of multi-stakeholder contracting. Together we discover what will make the coaching valuable for the client, their future, and their broader network of stakeholders. Contracting is not a single event at the beginning of a coaching relationship. It is a continuous practice that ensures alignment, relevance, and impact throughout the journey.

It's not a matter of price

When leaders focus primarily on holding onto their roles, it becomes difficult to advocate for coaching at the senior level. Yet coaching is one of the most powerful levers for both leadership development and DEIB progress. Senior management needs clear ROI: how coaching strengthens engagement, increases productivity, and improves retention. They also look for broader impact. How does coaching influence psychological safety, equitable decision-making, and inclusive leadership behaviours across the organisation?

These factors directly shape brand perception. Organisations that invest in leadership development and inclusive capability-building become employers of choice. This matters when attracting millennial and Generation Z talent, who consistently look for workplaces that demonstrate equity, purpose, and a commitment to people. Coaching is not a cost; it is a strategic investment in culture, performance, and sustainable growth.

Unnecessarily delaying

Procrastination is often a response to fear, and acknowledging fear can be challenging. Yet fear plays a role in almost every meaningful endeavour. I believe that no one creates work of real value without experiencing both self-doubt and self-belief. Self-doubt keeps us alert, reflective, and committed to improving. Self-belief gives us the courage to act, persist, and take risks. Progress requires the presence of both.

““Whoever you are, no matter how lonely, the world offers itself to your imagination. When you fall into the funk of competition, think of literature, think of the early bloomers and the late bloomers. Think of the very many experimental novels that do not follow the traditional form. Your story does not have to have a traditional arc.””
— Mary Oliver

I think Mary Oliver’s beautifully expressed words remind us that growth does not follow a single path, and neither does creativity. Your work, your pace, and your process are allowed to be your own.

Chaos is normal

I think much of the anxiety we see today comes from living in a period of deep uncertainty. Human beings resist uncertainty, even though nothing in our lives has ever been truly certain. We create the illusion of predictability because the brain is wired to seek safety and control.

Leadership in uncertain times often involves losses that are difficult to acknowledge: jobs that disappear, titles that no longer exist, ambitions that must be released because circumstances have shifted. Letting go is a form of grief, and I see this grief surface in many leaders as the past continues to reappear in their thinking and behaviour.

Moving forward requires working through the anger, disappointment, and hurt that come with change. Without processing these emotions, it becomes difficult to heal and even more difficult to create the future you truly want. Growth begins when you recognise the emotional weight of uncertainty and give yourself permission to move through it rather than push it aside.

Co-creation coaching approach

Begin by listening to the client’s story. When clients feel heard, they become more open to receiving feedback and exploring new perspectives. Ask questions that show genuine interest, because clients respond to care before they respond to expertise. For example: What do you mean by that?

Work to see the situation through their eyes. Summarise what you have heard to confirm understanding, and then build your questions from that shared foundation. For example: Here is what I see in this situation. The actions you are taking are not producing the results you want. Would you like to explore another way to achieve those results?

I think this approach creates partnership, psychological safety, and a sense of shared responsibility for change. What do you think?

Be fully present

Understand what the other person wants, what is getting in the way, and what they might choose to do next. When the conversation ends, take a moment to notice what you did well. The brain needs evidence of success in order to support change. If your internal dialogue repeats phrases such as “I did this wrong,” “I am awful,” or “I will never be able to do this,” the brain interprets that as a threat and moves into protection mode. It limits your willingness to take risks or try again.

If you reinforce the message “I did this well and I am learning,” the brain supports your growth. I think this is why it is essential to shift attention away from mistakes and toward the transformation that is already underway. Mastery is a path, not a destination. Be patient with yourself, be kind, and appreciate the progress you are making.

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Fox in the box

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One of the most common themes that emerges in leadership development coaching is imposter syndrome and the tendency leaders have to second guess themselves. These feelings often surface at moments of transition: a new role, an expanded scope, greater visibility, or the pressure to deliver through others. When leaders question their capability, it influences decision quality, confidence in communication, and the ability to model psychological safety for their teams.

Coaches have a broad set of approaches to support leaders through this. The work involves helping leaders recognise the underlying beliefs that shape their internal dialogue, understand the organisational factors that reinforce those beliefs, and build strategies that strengthen self-trust. I think effective coaching begins with a grounded understanding of the phenomenon itself. Before we can support leaders in navigating imposter syndrome, we need to be clear about what the term describes and the different ways it can show up in a leadership context.

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What do you think?

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c/o Maja de Silva

Does your organisation have a culture of silence?

A culture of silence poses a significant threat to psychological safety. When fear becomes part of the environment, people hold back their ideas, concerns, and insights. This often happens when the message challenges existing norms or raises uncomfortable truths. Even when someone does speak up, colleagues may overlook the comment, minimise the concern, or fail to engage with genuine curiosity.

Here's an example of psychological bravery: A team member notices that a project is heading in the wrong direction because key assumptions are no longer valid. The project has high visibility, senior leaders are heavily invested, and no one has questioned the approach before. Speaking up may risk being seen as difficult, negative, or disruptive.

Despite this, the team member raises the issue during a meeting. They explain the data, outline the risks, and offer alternative paths forward. They speak calmly and respectfully, with a focus on transparency and shared responsibility, even though the message is uncomfortable. I think this action represents psychological bravery because it invites openness in a situation where silence may feel safer. The person places collective success above personal comfort, which strengthens trust, accountability, and learning within the team. What do you think?

Falling apart

Sometimes things fall apart, for example, stories, certainties, and identities. My role as a coach is not to prevent that collapse. My task is to hold the space so that something meaningful can emerge. This is resilience understood as openness, not resistance.

For resilience to appear, we need to accept one of our greatest teachers: pain. The questions then become:
• Can we listen openly?
• Can we allow another person to fully feel what they are experiencing?
• Can we accept the pain long enough to understand the lesson it brings?

Accepting pain does not weaken us. It creates the space that allows us to ask, “What do I need to learn here?” and to move forward with clarity and intention.

If this resonates and you feel ready to explore this work together, book a complimentary 30-minute call with me through this link.

The outcome

When coaching is practiced at a high standard:

·  Leaders gain clarity about who they are and how they want to show up.
· They develop emotional intelligence that strengthens relationships.
· They grow the cultural awareness required in diverse workplaces.
· Their decisions become more aligned with their purpose and values.

The work becomes more than a conversation. It becomes a catalyst for meaningful, sustained change.

““It takes a lot of hard work to make something simple.””
— Steve Jobs