I have learned to pause before reacting.
I have learned to choose patience over anger.
I have learned to control my tongue, not by dominating the conversation or trying to prove that I am right, but by truly listening.
What have you learned?
““Prejudice is an emotional commitment to ignorance.””
““Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach him how to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.””
The underpinning philosophy is still enlightening to this day, even though this proverb is from thousands of years ago. In today’s context, truly empowering communities means working with local partners at the forefront and supporting their needs. Often, it requires you to resist the urge to present yourself as the agent of change, taking a step back and sitting in the background. I think real impact comes from enabling others to lead.
Research shows that there are 60.000 thoughts going through your brain everyday. Let me know what you think about Flavilla’s network - Black Rise.
Investing in coaching is one of the best investments you can make if you are a leader, manager, or aspire to become one. How much time do you spend coaching your direct reports?
Here are 10 essential coaching skills to develop:
1. Empathy – Put yourself in their shoes.
2. Self-management – The ability to regulate your own emotions and behaviour.
3. Building trust – The foundation of all relationships.
4. Observational skills – Accurately reading situations and people.
5. Planning – Increasing the likelihood of reaching goals.
6. Active listening – A core skill for effective coaching.
7. Communication skills – Explaining clearly and holding others accountable.
8. Encouragement and praise – Reinforcing effort and growth.
9. Honest, useful feedback – Delivered constructively to drive improvement.
10. Analytical and problem-solving skills – Supporting others to find solutions.
Have you ever felt stuck in a rut, unable to reach your goals despite your best intentions?
It happens to the best of us. The good news is that change is always within reach, but it rarely comes from one big breakthrough moment. Instead, it’s built day by day, through the small, consistent actions that shape who we become.
Your habits are the secret ingredient, they are the bridge between your intentions and your results. When your daily routines align with your vision, progress becomes inevitable. And when they don’t, even the most inspiring goals can feel out of reach.
I think the shift starts with awareness, seeing which habits serve you and which hold you back, and then committing to steady, intentional change. Over time, those changes compound, creating momentum that makes achieving your goals not only possible, but sustainable.
““Success is a product of daily habits, not once in a lifetime transformations.””
Why would a colleague recommend your coaching business to an HR leader?
I think they will only do so if it enhances their own credibility and expands their influence in shaping people and culture outcomes. HR professionals are often seen as trusted advisors within an organisation. When they introduce a coach to a leader or team, it’s not just a referral, it’s a reflection of their ability to identify meaningful, high-impact development solutions.
To earn that level of trust, you need to build a coaching practice that delivers real transformation. One that helps leaders grow, creates space for honest reflection, and aligns with business outcomes. HR leaders are far more likely to recommend a coach who addresses the challenges they care about most: inclusive leadership, resilience, emotional intelligence, and sustainable performance. When your coaching creates value at this level, HR leaders won’t just refer you, they will advocate for you because your success reinforces theirs.
““The more you practice your work, the better it will be. Practice opens channels of possibility in the brain.””
Most of what people are rushing to do isn’t actually urgent. And in today’s fast-moving environment, urgency can feel like the default setting. As a leader, your power lies not in keeping up with everything, but in your ability to slow down and think clearly when everything around you is speeding up. This is where emotional intelligence (EQ) becomes critical.
““You should meditate every day and if you don’t have time, you should meditate more.” ”
Intellectual curiosity is the foundation of wise and adaptive leadership. It's about learning to search for grounded truth, not just what's comfortable or familiar. The best leaders remain open to changing their minds when facts or evidence challenge their prior beliefs. They understand that growth comes not from being right, but from being willing to learn. I think the strongest leaders are lifelong students as well as being lifelong teachers.
““Trust is the glue of life. It’s the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It’s the foundational principle that holds all relationships.” - ”
I have been studying the fear of change, both in myself and in the people I coach. What I have discovered is as startling as it is deeply human: our resistance to change isn’t just a mindset. It lives in our nervous system, our habits, and even our sense of identity, because change often feels like a threat to our safety. Even when something no longer serves us, whether it’s a job, a relationship, or a way of thinking, we often cling to it simply because it’s familiar. Sad but true… If this resonates, contact me via email to book a free 30-minute discovery call.
““The free soul is rare, but you know it when you see it - basically because you feel good, very good, when you are near or with them.””
c/o Paul Sloane ©
Healing and self-punishment cannot coexist. Many of us try to move forward into new relationships, roles, or versions of ourselves while still carrying guilt or shame from the past. I don’t think you can truly grow if you are quietly telling yourself you’re undeserving. Healing begins when you stop treating your past like a debt to be repaid with suffering. It asks for compassion, not penance. You are allowed to begin again, without shame or self-judgment as that’s not weakness, it’s courage.
““Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always.””
““I told them an artist’s first responsibility was to himself. I said if he kept getting upset with what other people think he ought to do, he never would get too far, or he sure wouldn’t last. I tried to make them see how I had worked all my life to play myself… They said they understood. I hope they did.””
c/o Morten Vammen
If you promise to actively participate then I will promise not to waste your time. To quote William Shakespeare - "Something is rotten in the state of Denmark" - would be a disservice.
““Do well by doing better and do better by doing well.””
Passion is often sparked by what excites us, what we enjoy, what energises us. On the other hand, purpose runs deeper as it is anchored in what we believe, the values we hold, and the change we want to see in the world. When we lead with purpose, passion transforms, it becomes more than personal fuel, it becomes a force for meaningful impact. And the lens through which we choose to see the world profoundly shapes what we experience. If we move through life in search of excellence, for example, with curiosity, hope, and an openness to be inspired, then we are far more likely to encounter excellence in people, in moments, and in ourselves. On the contrary, if we move through life scanning for flaws and failures, our view narrows, and all we see are problems. What we look for becomes what we find and often, what we create.
““What a piece of bread looks like depends on whether you are hungry or not.””
c/o @LizAndMollie ©
One of the most powerful things you can do is learn to be okay alone. I think when you are truly comfortable in your own skin, you no longer crave external approval. This inner strength can be cultivated through practices like meditation, journaling, or training on your own, all of which help you build confidence, clarity, and self-reliance.
““Rest and be kind, you don’t have to prove anything.””
In a world that rewards speed, performance, and certainty, leadership can become narrowly defined. The leaders who create real, lasting change are often those who can slow down long enough to listen to themselves, to others, and to the systems they’re part of. These are the leaders who understand that storytelling isn’t just communication, it’s a tool for connection, transformation, and vision-building.
““Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.” ”
Some things in life are best when we can telescope, compress, accelerate, and streamline them, making the process more efficient. And then there are things where the true value lies in the inefficiency, in the time spent, the time endured, and the effort invested.
““As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself, the other for helping others.””
I think a lot of what we do is learned behaviour.
Society tells us, "Be yourself," but then turns around and says, "No, not like that.”
Society says, "Tell me how you feel," but only if those feelings are comfortable or convenient. If your authenticity makes others uncomfortable, they reject it.
““The courage to be is the courage to accept oneself, in spite of being unacceptable.””
Apparently free speech a privilege rather than a right, and free speech is only granted if we approve of what is being said. As non-white individuals living in Europe, many of us feel this conditionality firsthand. If we don’t stick to the script, expressing gratitude and happiness for simply being here, then we’re told to leave, to "go back to where we came from." This is what I mean when I speak about privilege and inequality. How would you behave if your immigration status depended on it?
““Your visions will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.” ”
““Strength is the product of struggle, you must do what others don’t to achieve what others won’t.””
I’ve seen how hands-off approaches can fuel hate speech and misinformation. Without professional moderation, toxicity thrives, and those with harmful intent exploit the system. I think that the key isn’t censorship, it’s learning from past failures and building moderation frameworks that are transparent, adaptive, and fair.
Social media has become the public square of the 21st century, the space where people "spray and pray," hoping their voices are heard. Free speech is vital to a healthy democracy, but without thoughtful content moderation, the loudest and most harmful voices can drown out everyone else.
