personal development

Style never goes out of fashion

Today, Facebook reminded me what I have known for years, which is the more you know, the more you realise how little you do know! In leadership, every detail counts, including the way we choose to present ourselves. Let your style speak for you and make sure it’s saying that you’re a leader worth following. Everyday ask yourself the question, “If your style were to speak for you today, what do you think it would say? What do you wish it said?”

““Good manners will open doors that the best education cannot.””
— Clarence Thomas

Be grateful

The essence of mental adjustment and atonement can be summed up in one word: GRATITUDE. It doesn’t matter how disturbed you are, it doesn’t matter what’s bothering you, you can solve whatever it is - just be grateful. Gratitude is everything, it’s the antidote for all stress, anger and frustration, it’s the entire process of mental adjustment. I think that when you change your perception you can change your outlook of life.

““Wait like one who understands.” ”
— James Allen

A fear setting exercise

Tim Ferris c/o YouTube

Fear-setting is an interesting approach to goal setting as it focuses on identifying and addressing our fears rather than just setting goals based on aspirations. Try this fear-setting exercise to set your fears free:

-       What are you most scared of?
-       What are the worst things that may happen?

I think by looking at what we fear the most and envisioning worst-case scenarios, we can better understand the potential risks and obstacles that may come our way. This exercise can help us to prepare mentally and emotionally for challenges, and even devise strategies to mitigate those risks. In this way we can gain clarity on what truly matters to us and what we need to do to overcome obstacles.

““Marketing is the place that understands and anticipates what people need and desire.””
— Esi Eggleston Bracey

Elevate your career

What do you really want to do, and why do you want to do it?

I think to bridge the gap between your current position and your desired outcome, it's crucial to identify the reasons behind your inaction. Let's be honest about the possible barriers:
1) Fear
2) Limited belief in your capabilities
3) Feeling overwhelmed due to anger or resentment
4) Bad habits
5) Lack of skills

Contact me via e-mail to book a coaching course.

Life is a verb

These 16 signs paint a picture of a high performer. Someone who is driven, disciplined, resilient, and adept at both personal and professional growth.

  1. You value your time

  2. You mind your own business

  3. You treat people with respect

  4. You look for "no's", not "yes's"

  5. You're improving every single week

  6. You find a way to do the impossible

  7. You see opportunities, not obstacles

  8. You're excited, passionate, optimistic

  9. You don't like waffle; you need clarity

  10. You chase down feedback to improve

  11. You're scared at the thought of settling

  12. You think in terms of years, not months

  13. You don't need motivation to do things

  14. You're not afraid to fail. You seek discomfort

  15. You connect the dots - people with your ideas

  16. You understand what others don't say out loud

Work-life balance

In my experience, there are leaders and organisations who focus on equipping employees with tools to improve their performance, and there is not so much focus on their personal development. When we are at work, our personal life impacts our performance, and when we go home, our work impacts our personal life. So, if a person is in tune with whom they are then they are one person, the same at work as at home. I think people need to feel valued, heard, and supported. In Denmark, there is a value placed on work-life balance, emphasising that people take pride in their work without the necessity of showcasing dedication through long working hours.

Confidence challenge

Why are we always seeking external validation, reassurance, and acceptance?

I think that seeking external validation, reassurance, and acceptance is an intrinsic part of human behaviour. Our social nature is deeply rooted in our evolution and has driven us to seek acceptance within groups and communities as a means of ensuring safety, resources, and support. This quest for validation extends to our self-esteem; positive feedback strengthens our sense of self-worth and belonging, while negative feedback can brings about doubts and insecurities. Additionally, seeking validation often serves as a tool for learning and growth. External feedback provides varied perspectives that aid in personal improvement and development. Cultural influences also play a significant role, as societal norms often encourage seeking validation to conform to social standards and expectations. As well as receiving validation, it also offers emotional security by affirming our beliefs and actions, reducing feelings of anxiety or uncertainty. However, while seeking external validation has its benefits, striking a balance with internal validation is crucial, as relying solely on external sources for self-worth or decision-making can pose challenges to cultivating a healthy sense of self-esteem and personal growth.

Questioning the question

Our identities are shaped by these mental models, defining how we see ourselves in the world. I've found that my most significant growth happens when I let go of these fixed ideas, acknowledging their limitations, and embracing the different perspectives. My strength lies in stepping outside my usual way of thinking to gain a broader understanding and discover new approaches. I think by questioning the question will challenge my own thinking patterns for deeper insights and should be applied to my intellectual mind.

A holistic endeavour

Achieving high performance in any chosen field, whether it be in business, on the stage, or in sports, requires continual attention to mind-management, and this involves a dynamic process of cultivating mental resilience, refining skills, and fostering adaptability. Beyond the pursuit of success, this approach is integral to maintaining optimal mental and emotional well-being. I think by actively developing one's personality and expanding their capacity to embrace new challenges, individuals will enhance their performance and also cultivate a robust foundation for enduring success. This ongoing commitment to self-improvement will enable individuals to navigate the complexities of their chosen field with agility and poise, contributing to their professional accomplishments as well as a more balanced life.

Energy flows where attention goes

c/o Success Magazine © 2020

Energy can be changed from one form to another, but it cannot be created or destroyed. The total amount of energy and matter within the Universe remains constant, merely changing from one form to another. This principle is encapsulated in the First Law of Thermodynamics, known as the Law of Conservation, which states that energy is always conserved, it cannot be created or destroyed. As Tony Robbins says, “energy flows where attention goes”. To get what you really want in life, you need a clear goal that has purpose and meaning behind it. Once this is in place, you can focus your energy on the goal and become obsessive about it. I think that when you learn how to focus your energy amazing things will happen. What do you think?

Looking inwards

How can I achieve personal growth and success in leadership roles?

I think aligning your actions, decisions, and behaviours with your self-awareness, your vision of the future, and your desire to make a positive contribution are essential for personal and professional development. These three questions will certainly help you succeed in leadership roles:

1. Who am I?
2. Who do I aspire to become?
3. How can I bring my best contribution?

And acting on your answers to these questions is a key part of leadership development. And leaders who continually reflect on these questions and act accordingly are more likely to lead with authenticity, inspire others, and achieve their goals while also helping others achieve theirs.

From the heart

In my opinion, you don’t have to ask for respect as respect is something that is earned. I do lots of charity work and I do it because I want to do it, I don’t do it to gain media attention. I do so many things where I am in the background as I don’t need the external validation because I do it from my heart. I see other people doing things and everything is on their social media platforms, I do it because I want to do it, not because of building my personal brand or image.

Happiness is not a destination

Happiness is a skill that can be developed by aligning your inner values with your external actions, finding contentment in your life and decisions, and focusing on what you can control. Understanding and living in alignment with your values is key to living a happier and more fulfilled life. I think that by treating yourself with kindness and respect is essential for our health and happiness. The best people that I know are not chasing compliments or validation. Learn to fight for your happiness and do it with dignity, optimism, and grace.

““Sir, I am a true laborer; I earn that I eat, get that I wear; owe no man hate, envy no man’s happiness; glad of other men’s good, content with my harm; and the greatest of my pride is to see my ewes graze and my lambs suck.””
— William Shakespeare

Various aspects of life

Life is all about the struggle and challenge to develop ourselves and our skills to see what we can create of value in the marketplace. There is also a social part, a spiritual part as well as the physical part. Personal development is not an easy matter, new habits don’t come easy, but they can be developed. We all have heard the old saying that “Success is 10% inspiration and 90% perspiration.” Therefore, you have to read the books, learn the skills, put yourself through the paces, do the mental press ups and get yourself ready.

Inspiration must lead to discipline as it’s one thing to be motivated, and another thing to be motivated sufficiently to take the classes, do the reading, do the repetition, go through it over and over until it becomes part of you and those are challenges. They are not easy, but they are challenges that if you win, develop and grow that’s what will determine your place, your return (equity) and the work you get from the marketplace.

““Success is neither magical nor mysterious. Success is the natural consequence of consistently applying basic fundamentals.”
”
— Jim Rohn

Making meaningful changes

Achieving meaningful change is often dependent on having a clear objective, believing in your ability to make that change, and embracing a committed mindset that prioritises rational planning over fleeting emotions. This approach can lead to a more sustainable and effective path to personal growth and transformation. I think that to understand the factors that influence our capacity to change, one needs to consider the following three key elements:

1.    It's not solely about the external events or circumstances that occur in our lives but rather how we choose to navigate and respond to them. Developing psychological mindedness involves being attuned to our thoughts, feelings, and reactions, which can significantly impact our ability to initiate change.

2.    While motivation can be a fleeting and inconsistent source of drive, commitment provides a more stable foundation for success. By detaching from emotional fluctuations and focusing on a well-thought-out plan of action, we can reduce the reliance on fleeting emotional states. Cognitive dissonance, the discomfort caused by acting against one's beliefs, can serve as a powerful motivator for change.

3.    Instead of relying on raw emotion to drive our actions, we can manage our emotions through commitment. By making a conscious decision to pursue our goals and sticking to our plans, we create a sense of commitment that, in turn, generates motivation. This shift from relying on external motivation to fostering internal commitment can be a key factor in achieving lasting change.

Send me an e-mail and let me know what do you think.