belonging

Inviting people into the conversation

Most of us see ourselves as fair-minded people, and in many cases we are. Yet human beings naturally identify more easily with some people than others. I may feel warmth towards you, for example, while unconsciously questioning your competence or credibility. These subtle biases can influence our decisions even when our intentions are positive. It is also important to recognise that not all biases operate in the same way. Individual prejudice exists, and some biases are reinforced by organisational systems, cultural norms, and historical patterns. The distinction matters because the challenge is often larger than any one individual's beliefs or behaviours.

One of the reasons I think there is so much resistance to diversity and inclusion work is that people often feel they are being told they need to be fixed. Most people do not respond positively to that message. Diversity fatigue can emerge when the conversation is framed around blame, correction, or moral judgment rather than shared benefit and collective progress. Instead, I think we need to invite people into the conversation. We need to engage those in majority or dominant groups as active participants rather than positioning them as part of the problem. The evidence is compelling: diverse teams tend to produce stronger innovation, better problem-solving, and more robust decision-making. These outcomes benefit everyone, not just specific groups.

When I encounter resistance, I try to approach it with curiosity. I ask myself: What could I do differently to invite this person into the conversation? And more importantly, what might I be doing that is contributing to their resistance? As the goal is not to win an argument, the goal is to create an environment where more people want to participate, contribute, and be part of the solution. That is how meaningful and sustainable change happens.

It affects us all

Do you place a higher value on familiarity than experience when assessing someone's potential for success?

Human beings naturally gravitate towards people who think, communicate, and behave in ways that feel familiar. That sense of comfort can create an unconscious preference for those who are most like us. What is interesting is how often we rationalise these preferences. We tell ourselves that someone is a "better fit," that they are easier to work with, or that they align more closely with the culture. These explanations may sound logical, but they can sometimes mask an underlying bias towards familiarity.

This has important implications for equality and inclusion because affinity bias is not limited to any one group. Men and women alike can be drawn towards people who feel familiar and can unintentionally overlook talent, potential, and capability in those who are different from themselves. I think the challenge for leaders is to distinguish between what feels comfortable and what creates value as the two are not always the same. Diverse teams often outperform homogeneous ones precisely because they bring different experiences, perspectives, and ways of thinking to the table. The question is not who you naturally click with, the real question is whether you are making decisions based on familiarity or on capability.

Inclusion is reflected in behaviour

The work of inclusion begins when leaders move beyond assumption and start paying attention to the experiences that are often invisible to them. It is visible in who gets opportunities, who feels psychologically safe to contribute, whose perspectives are valued, and whether people can succeed without suppressing important parts of their identity. Organisations that focus only on diversity metrics without addressing inclusion risk creating environments where representation exists, but belonging does not.

BCCD at Womenomics

Inclusion is often misunderstood because, unlike diversity, it is not always visible. Diversity is about representation, what we can see and measure. Inclusion is about experience, how people feel, whether they are heard, respected, valued, and able to participate fully. I think diversity is often the outcome organisations seek, while inclusion is the behaviour and environment that make those outcomes possible.

Inequality is visible

If you are operating in an organisation where people are treated differently, the signals are visible. Retention rates vary, performance outcomes are inconsistent, and patterns begin to emerge across groups. This is not incidental, it is an indication of inequality and will be reflected in the outcomes people experience within the organisation.

When these disparities exist, they come at a cost. Individuals are less likely to perform at their full potential, and their sense of belonging is weakened. Over time, this leads to disengagement and, ultimately, attrition. For leaders and HR professionals, the question is not whether inequality exists, but whether it is being recognised, understood, and addressed with intention.

Guidance and protection

My work centres on identifying underrepresented talent and supporting organisations to design systems that work for all talent. I did not benefit from diversity programmes. I progressed in my career despite encountering both overt and subtle bias in professional environments. This perspective is shaped by lived experience and decades of strategic work in organisational inclusion. Therefore, when I speak about diversity initiatives, I do so from both professional expertise and personal insight.

Celebrating differences

In my experience, organisations stall when inclusion feels risky or undefined. Progress accelerates when leaders commit first, assess where they truly are, and ground the work in a shared reflection on why belonging matters now. Starting there allows the conversation to move beyond permission and into purpose, creating a strong bridge into the DOQ framework and sustainable change.

Time out

As I have grown older, I have become less concerned with the opinions of others. Too many people today are living their lives through the expectations, judgments, and projections of those around them. We see individuals performing versions of themselves rather than showing up authentically, often amplified by virtue signalling and curated identities on social media.

When I worked in the lifestyle industry, I used to tell my children that my role was to sell and market the dream to clients, not to live inside it myself. That distinction mattered. It taught me the importance of discernment and of separating external narratives from personal truth. Why should I allow myself to be shaped by the opinions of people around the world who do not know me, yet feel entitled to dictate how I should live my life?

Alfa Munk

Copenhagen is a wonderful city because of the incredible people who live here. However, loneliness and social division are increasing, and the connections that hold communities together are under pressure. Our sense of social cohesion is being tested in new ways. When people have fewer opportunities to meet, mix, and understand one another, it becomes harder to build trust across different backgrounds. Community spaces can play a vital role in addressing this by providing places to come together, share experiences, and seek advice and support. For many years, community centres were at the heart of neighbourhoods across Copenhagen, and I want to help restore that sense of belonging and shared purpose.

Impossible standards

All data is, by definition, historical. It tells us what has already happened, not what will happen next. When it comes to DEIB, there is often an expectation of an impossible standard of proof: that we can demonstrate with absolute certainty and predictability that an initiative will succeed before the work even begins. This expectation ignores the reality that cultural change cannot be measured or guaranteed in advance in the same way as financial investments. The question leaders need to ask is this: What happens when DEIB is treated as discretionary and easily replaced by short-term financial considerations? What is the long-term cost to trust, belonging, innovation, and organisational resilience?

The matrix diagram

c/o Kogulan Kugathasan on LinkedIn

What can we do at the strategy phase to make sure we have a solid foothold to implement?

I simply think we need to create the conditions for people to succeed as this begins long before implementation. At the strategy phase, ensure that individuals are adequately supported, trained, and empowered to build the next generation of what the organisation needs. Too often leaders fail to resource their teams, and when progress stalls they decide that DEIB is the issue rather than recognising the gaps in structure, support, and commitment.

A strong strategy phase should also include:
- Clear ownership and accountability so that responsibility does not disappear into the organisation.
- Defined success measures that connect to business outcomes, not abstract ideals.
- Alignment with existing organisational priorities so DEIB is not treated as an add-on.
- A realistic assessment of capability and capacity, including whether leaders themselves are prepared for the behavioural shifts required.
- Time-bound commitments supported by budget, tools, and ongoing development.

When these foundations are in place, implementation becomes a natural extension of a strategy that leaders genuinely stand behind rather than a task delegated without support.

International Men's Day

The very qualities that many men are taught to hide, e.g. emotional openness and sensitivity, are essential for survival and wellbeing. Rather than being inherently too aggressive, men are often programmed to channel their pain through destructive means. This can manifest as violence, addiction, isolation, or uncontrollable rage, as these become the only acceptable outlets for emotional distress. When these destructive avenues fail to provide relief, men may turn inward, imploding rather than expressing what they feel.

Tragically, this cycle of suppression and destructive expression has serious consequences. Many lives might have been saved if men had felt able to acknowledge and process their pain. If only they had paused to feel rather than ignore, cried rather than concealed their emotions, spoken out instead of self-destructing, or reached out for support before giving up entirely. The ongoing internal battle cannot be won through silence; it requires courageous honesty, shared at the right moment with the right person.

Contact me via this link if you ever want to talk.

What is psychological safety?

c/o Maja de Silva 

Psychological safety is a shared belief among team members that it is safe to take interpersonal risks, for example, to speak up, share ideas, or admit mistakes without fear of retribution, humiliation, or harsh criticism. The concept was first defined by Amy Edmondson, Professor at Harvard Business School.

Psychological safety does not mean that everyone must always agree or avoid difficult conversations. It does not encourage false harmony or unearned praise. Instead, it allows for candour, constructive disagreement, and the free exchange of ideas.

When psychological safety is present, everyone’s voice matters. People feel encouraged to ask questions, raise concerns, and offer new perspectives. Edmondson used “the soil, not the seed” as a metaphor for the environment that allows learning and growth to happen.

In organisations with high psychological safety, good things happen:
· Mistakes are reported quickly, allowing for rapid corrective action.
·  Collaboration across teams and departments becomes seamless.
·   Innovative, game-changing ideas are shared rather than hidden.

I think psychological safety is therefore not a “soft” concept, it is a strategic source of value creation in complex, fast-changing environments where learning, adaptability, and innovation are essential. What do you think?

How to improve psychological safety

To improve psychological safety, leaders must:

  • Encourage open dialogue and active listening, especially around difficult topics

  • Reward those who raise concerns, rather than isolate them

  • Create systems where feedback is not just heard but acted upon

Psychological safety is not only about avoiding conflict; it is about creating an environment where truth can be spoken and heard.

A seat at the table

What does DEI look like in the workplace?

I think DEI is really this casual term used to describe the various, strategies, initiatives, programs, policies, etc., that foster representation and participation of individuals from a variety of backgrounds. From my experience over the years, I have identified 6 focus areas that DEI work falls under:

1.    Leadership Engagement - Do your leaders, walk the talk or is it just lip service? What are your leadership expectations and inclusive best practices.

2.    Communication - How does your company embed DEI into your internal and external interactions?

3.    Recruiting - How do you evolve your mindsets, practices, partnerships that we use to attract talent?

4.    Data and Impact - How do you establish a useable dataset both quantitative and qualitative that you can use to make really informed decisions and identify solutions to problem solve or troubleshoot inequities?

5.    Employee Enablement - How do you establish shared ownership and fostering inclusive and equitable workplaces?

6.    Employee Development - How does your company ensure that all employees have equitable access to resources, training, etc., to further develop their careers?

In my opinion the vast majority of DEI will fall into one or more of these categories. And what is imperative in DEI work is a strong emphasis on change management and organisational development.

The takeaways

At the Brotherhood for Professional of Color (BPoC), we are an inclusive community where shared experiences spark meaningful and thought-provoking conversations (both in person and online). Think of BPoC as your partner in the room: a space where your voice, ideas, and perspectives matter.

I hope you leave today’s session with a thought or insight that continues to inspire reflection and exploration. Today was an invitation to notice, to stay curious, and to engage with how your international colleagues and neighbours show up every day. Bringing their unique stories, strengths, and ways of being to our shared spaces is gift to the Danish society.

““We must become the change we seek.””
— Ghandi