In Western cultures, motivation is often driven by harsh self-talk and shame becomes the tool used to push forward, yet shame rarely creates lasting change. Instead, it fuels a cycle of resistance and self-sabotage. When you shame yourself for a habit or behaviour, you create an inner split. One part becomes the harsh inner critic, while another takes on the role of the rebellious child. These parts work against each other, consuming energy that could otherwise support meaningful change.

I think self-compassion offers a different approach. When you slip up, treat yourself as you would a close friend who is struggling, with kindness, understanding, and encouragement to try again. This approach does not remove responsibility or excuse behaviour. It recognises that sustainable change grows from self-acceptance, not self-criticism.