Why are so many young men choosing porn over the risk, effort, and vulnerability of real-life connection? Recent research shows that 51% of young American men have never asked a woman out in person. That stat doesn’t just speak to fear, it suggests a skill gap. Engaging in conversation, dressing well, showing up with purpose, and persisting through discomfort takes practice. Maybe it’s time we started training men in “no” exercises, because success in life comes down to your willingness to ask, for example, to ask for help, friendship, a job or a date…and be ready to hear “no.” Again and again. Porn, by contrast, offers a quick dopamine hit with no risk, no rejection, no growth.

I think without learning to face rejection, how will men ever develop resilience, confidence, or presence? Where do they learn to demonstrate excellence? That venue used to be social life, now it’s time to reclaim it.