The reason so many men end up chasing women is that they don't realise they are actually chasing validation. They think they are chasing a woman, but most of the time they want confirmation that they are attractive enough, successful enough, interesting enough, or worthy enough. The woman simply becomes the vehicle men use to prove something to themselves. Think about how men change when they overthink every text message, they analyse every conversation and replay every interaction in their head, trying to figure out what she really meant. One minute they are relaxed and confident; the next they are wondering whether she likes them, whether they are doing enough, or whether she is about to lose interest. I don’t think this is attraction, in reality it’s anxiety disguised as attraction.
NB: Although this post is written from a male perspective, the dynamics described are not gender specific. The same patterns of seeking validation, overthinking, and anxiety disguised as attraction apply equally across genders and relationship types. I think this could just as easily have been written from a woman's perspective.
““The trouble with us is that we do not read enough. We eat too much and let our minds go empty and dry.” ”
