Everyone who knows me will tell you that I love a good analogy. Why? Because an analogy can unlock understanding like a key opens a door. Coaching a team can be compared to gardening: the fruit will be at its juiciest and sweetest, or the flower is at its most fragrant precisely at the moment before it begins to rot. A coach's job then becomes almost to shield the plant from the sun, to delay maturation to prolong the flowering for as long as possible. Do you understand?
Spice of life
If you love someone you don't have to prove yourself or change for them. Giving and receiving gifts is a legitimate love language, however, material items should never be the main source of stability and communication in a relationship. I think the most beautiful thing is to see a person smiling, and what’s even more beautiful, is knowing that you are the reason behind their smile. If you appreciate this message, please share it. You may touch someone's heart today and forever. Enjoy your day with a heart of gratitude.
Atychiphobia
Image c/o Very Well Mind
Atychiphobia is the scientific word for the fear of failure. Atychiphobia is a constant, overwhelming feeling of dread that accompanies the undertaking of projects or pursuit of life goals. We all have different definitions of failure, simply because we all have different benchmarks, values, and belief systems. A failure to one person might simply be a great learning experience for someone else. Our fears tend to paralyse us, holding us back from taking constructive action in the direction of our dreams and goals. When we are scared, we hesitate, we become indecisive and procrastinate, we make excuses and find reasons to delay. Finally, we feel frustrated when caught in the double knot of “I have to” but “I can’t” or vice-versa.
Please note that when you say, “I can’t”, then I consider it to mean you have a fear of failure. And when you say, “I have to”, it means that you have a fear of rejection.
Be inspired by nature
What sparks creativity, and how and where do you seek it?
When you invest philosophy and attitude in disciplines then you produce results. Wisdom uninvested is labour wasted, faith uninvested is wasted and produces nothing. The name of the game is to put faith and philosophy into disciplined activity. I can get it from films, museums, nature, everywhere has the potential to inspire the creative process. I think it’s important to have the right mindset and a strong spiritual practice which revolves around the ability to suspend judgement, seeing things for what they are and trusting your instinct.
Sharing experiences
What is essential to you, and who are the persons who have helped you become the person you are?
We just don’t get to be competent human beings without a lot of different investments from others, people who have loved you, encouraged you, and wanted what was best in life for you. I know that you have had at least one person who has believed in you. As human beings we are all intimately related, so it will never be the honours, prizes or fancy outfits which will nourish our souls. It’s the knowing that we can be trusted and that we never have to fear the truth. This is the bedrock of our lives from where we make our choices, deep down we all know that what really matters in life is more than winning for ourselves. What really matters is helping others win too, even if it means slowing down and changing direction now and then. I think you don’t make change for others; you make change for yourself.
““It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eyes.” ”
Dropping gems
It’s just about bridging the gap, sometimes the gap is money and sometimes it’s experience. In his book "Black Swan," Nassim Nicholas Taleb introduced the theory that a significant and highly unexpected event (e.g., COVID, war in Ukraine, etc.) could have a huge and detrimental impact on society. The prevailing business model is to push both natural resources and people to their absolute limits. Maximum profit requires maximum exploitation and I think this will result in maximum collapse. Therefore, you should identify your motivation and passion, in other words, find what you are good at and become excellent at it.
Solving problems
Everyone experiences problems at work, but how we approach these problems makes all the difference in how well we resolve them in an efficient manner. In fact, just like there is a process for solving mathematical problems there is a process for solving business and life problems as well. It requires that you approach the problem systematically and in an organised fashion.
Here are a few steps you can follow:
1) Clearly define the problem,
2) Identify the causes of the problem,
3) Gather all the facts relating to the problem,
4) Review the options available for solving the problem.
““We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.””
Just be kind
It’s been scientifically proven that people who are curious are happier. Knowledge is not only information it’s also instructions to execute from. I think you can motivate a person with words, but you’ll inspire them with your actions. When I tell you a story that sounds good, that’s motivation, and then I’m giving you a motive to do something. When I tell you about what I did or if I’m leading by example, that’s I’m leading by example, that’s inspirational. When I’m telling you about how I did it, that’s educational. Now you have an actual foundation to build from, most people do more motivation than inspiration. So, when you grade yourself from a psychological perspective, it’s all about what you know.
““It is a little embarrassing that, after forty five years of research and study, the best advice I can give to people is to be a little kinder to each other.” ”
Buy less and buy better
Rhetoric is the art of effective or persuasive speaking or writing, especially the exploitation of figures of speech and other compositional techniques. Aristotle said great communication comes down to three things:
· Ethos – Ethics, values, the credibility of the person speaking, for example, “Am I worth listening to?”
· Logos – Evidence, facts, the logic, or apparent logic of what they are saying, for example, “Am I right?”
· Pathos – The emotions of the audience, for example, “Do I care?”
Aristotle also said that you could not win an argument with just one of these things, to win an argument, you will need each of the three to be always present. And as soon as you think about communication from the receiver’s perspective, you can see that he was correct.
Running around
If you are frantic during a 24-hour day, do you think you’ll be less frantic if we had 32-hour days?
I think the single most important quality of success is self-discipline. And when I say self-discipline, I mean that you have the ability within yourself based on your strength of character and willpower to do what you should do, when you should do it, whether you feel like it or not. All the best advice in the world will only help you if you can motivate yourself to take persistent and consistent action in the direction of your goals until you succeed.
““The best way to succeed in this world is to act on the advice you give to others.””
It’s a choice
Maslow’s “Hierarchy of Needs” is our satisfaction chart which makes us feel whole and accomplished as a human being. There are five levels in Maslow's pyramid, from the bottom of the hierarchy upwards, the needs are:
- Physiological (food and clothing),
- Safety (security),
- Love and belonging needs (friendship)
- Esteem,
- Self-actualisation.
Nowadays, we are controlled by the media, especially social media where we are constantly following other people’s opinions. We really need to learn how to think free and start loving and respecting each other. Patience is to let the season do their work as you can’t hurry the spring, you can’t rush the summer, and you can’t shorten the winter. You just need to have patience with the unfolding of things from the beginning to reality, from nothing to something. I think that it’s all about humanity. We can make our own reality, it’s a choice.
What I perceive is really out there
Affirmations without discipline is the beginning of delusion. Character is the ability to follow through on a resolution after the enthusiasm of which the resolution was made has passed. The truth will set you free to correct old errors in judgement and will help you to set up new and easier disciplines to turn wrong into right. To turn lack into prosperity and turn skepticism into faith. To turn wrong into right we must speak the truth because only the truth will set us free, I mean, free to correct errors in judgement.
We all have unique challenges, whether it’s family or personal problems, financial issues, or business problems, we all have them at one stage or another. Errors in judgement are subtle and usually don’t show their results immediately. The formula for failure is a few errors in judgement repeated every day on a continuous basis. When you continue to repeat your errors in judgment over a period then you’ll be way off course.
““Men can be divided into two groups: One that goes ahead and achieves something and one that comes after and criticises.””
Manage your own emotions
Most people don’t have the emotional intelligence to understand their own thinking and feeling process. We have men and women who are envious and jealous of each other because they don’t understand where these emotions arise from. Jealousy is when you see somebody that has something and you don’t want them to have it, and envy is when you see someone with something you want and you don’t particularly want them to have it, but you want it to, so you’re envious of them at all times. Most people don’t have enough emotional intelligence to check themselves.
Answer the following questions:
· What’s my educational level?
· What’s my environment like?
· What are my experiences?
· What’s my level of execution?
· What’s my emotional intelligence?
· Is what you are doing aligned with your values?
Contact me via e-mail to book coaching, mentoring or 1:1 sparring sessions.
The Universal Story Structure
Gustav Freytag was a 19th Century German novelist and playwright who developed a visual representation of the five-act structure common in classic plays and novels. This structure is known as Freytag’s Pyramid or triangle, or “the "dramatic arc," and this a straightforward way of organising a tragic narrative into a beginning, middle, and ending, and is comprised of five distinct parts: introduction, rising action, climax, falling action, and resolution.
I think stories are powerful because they transport us into other people’s world and in doing that, they change the way our brain works and potentially change our brain chemistry. This is what it means to be a social creature and connect with others, to care about others even complete strangers and its so interesting that dramatic stories cause us to do this. The same thing can happen when we watch movies or listen to music, we feel uplifted, we feel motivated, or we feel connected to others around us.
Health = Wealth
There are few talents more richly rewarded with both wealth and power in countries around the world than the ability to convince backward people that their problems are caused by other people who are more advanced. Remember that effort gets noticed, results get awarded and you are wealthy when you can freely decide what to do with your time. Self-awareness means reading the room and balancing one’s contributions to ensure a value exchange that benefits all. I think it’s about balancing ambition with value, knowing when to speak and when to listen. Knowing that given a choice of being clever or kind, being kind is right choice.
““Stupidity is knowing the truth, seeing the truth but still believing the lies. And that is more infectious than any other disease.””
Sense of humour
Illustration: Eva Bee ©
What are people really worried about?
The noise from outside makes us want to fit into the “container” and that stops us differentiating between what my mind saying and what is my intelligence saying, and this noise becomes your voice. Make people comfortable and at ease. I think happy people smile more, so it’s a good idea to laugh loudly and welcome humour with open arms. What it really comes down to is that we are not confident about what we have to offer, in other words, it’s a lack of self-awareness. Being insecure about our own abilities, for example, what am I good at? What are my passions? and what am I bringing to the table? Do not take yourself too seriously, show passion and ambition but not at a cost to others.
““Everyone in the world should achieve everything they ever wanted, and achieve everything they ever pursued, just to realise that it’s not the point.””
Stoicism is helpful
Marcus Aurelius
When we speak about success, there are parts of this we are in control of and parts of it we are not. There are so many things that we have no control over, like outcomes, therefore, one should just focus on the things that you can change which is the world of your own thoughts and actions. I think this is where we should place our attention, therefore, I only emotional commit myself to my intentions and actions, not the outcomes as I have no control over them.
Stoicism is a philosophy designed to make us more resilient, happier, more virtuous and more wise–and as a result, better people, better parents and better professionals. Stoicism has been a common thread though some of history's great leaders and has been practiced by leaders, artists, writers and entrepreneurs.
Sales training for building consensus
I have found that there is a great deal of pleasure in coaching and nursing teams, guiding them through a structured process to identify a focus area that enables them to maximise their inherent power by tapping into the hearts and minds of consumers. For example,
• Creating needs (listening, objections, negotiation and presentations)
• Motivation (rapport, communication and mindset)
• Pipeline management (plan, prepare and execute)
• Sales Savvy (decision maker access, network mapping & development, best practise and analysing success)
Contact me via e-mail to book coaching, mentoring or 1:1 sparring sessions.
““Your potential customer doesn’t care about your company. They care about the problem they have and the possibility of resolving it. Are you creating enough value in the sales conversation or are you just talking about yourself?” ”
The first fruit
Image c/o The Ecologist
““Sometimes a fruit falls from a tree and rolls so far away from its roots that it’s no longer of the tree. The hard fall, and long journey, bruises the fruit so much that it totally changes it. It’s the same way for some of our people. This is why some can’t be awakened regardless of how much truth you present to them. This journey has totally brainwashed them to such a degree that they’re no longer of the original tree.” ”
You need self-discipline
It’s not what you have learned that is decisive for your future, it’s whether you can put your head down and discipline yourself to pay the price repeatedly until you finally obtain your objective. Learning to effectively lead yourself and others all comes down to discipline, and you’ll need self-discipline to set your goals and make plans for their accomplishment.
You will also need self-discipline to:
- continuously revise and upgrade your plans with new information,
- focus on the most important thing you need to do at that specific moment,
- invest in yourself every day and build yourself up personally and professionally,
- learn what you need to do to become successful,
- delay gratification, save your money and organise your finances,
- focus on your goals and dreams and off your fears and doubts,
- respond positively and constructively in the face of difficulty.
Contact me via e-mail to book coaching, mentoring or 1:1 sparring sessions.