communication

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Preaching to the choir

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Think about the times you have sat in an audience - whether in person or on a digital device – listening to a speaker, you are being influenced. It doesn’t matter what they are saying whether you think it is good or bad, how much you agree  or disagree with it, you are being influenced. This morning I looked up the word, influence and according to the Oxford English Dictionary, influence means “the capacity to have an effect on the character, development or behaviour of someone or something, or the effect itself.”

 

Each of us live our lives based on a worldview, and our worldview is essentially one’s spectrum of perceptions from knowledge to beliefs with countless opinions in between. In other words, our worldview consists of our knowledge, our opinions, and our beliefs. And if we have self-confidence, we hold each of these or all of them as truths, not true in that they could be proven, true, in that is how we see it. 

  • Knowledge is what we know with enough certainty and evidence to support it.

  • Beliefs is what we hold as true, although there is no objective or formal evidence to prove it. 

  • Opinions is what we hold with enough evidence to know that is the way we see things.

I can inform someone’s knowledge and if they disagree, I can support my view with enough evidence to convince them unless they just object no matter what. On the other hand, beliefs are what I believe even when I have no direct evidence to support it. Most of us have had beliefs through our lives that changed and became opinions. Opinions are what we hold as true because we have enough evidence and strong enough beliefs to see something as being proper. We have opinions about everything, for example, sports, relationships, health, parenting, leadership, management, etc. The reason why I have different views today than previously is that I have been persuaded to change many of my opinions through additional evidence and by views of others I trust.

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To listen is to pay attention to

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Without the ability to listen effectively messages are easily misunderstood. Most of us listen to the degree we can understand points of agreement or disagreement, or to prepare what to say in response, rather than to learn. And when we do that, we are not so much hearing other people as we are waiting for our turn to speak. Listening is key to all effective communication. I think that if there is one communication skill you should aim to master, then listening is the one.


From the sales perspective listening is the key to all effective communication as this skill is indispensable when seeking to build mutually beneficial relationships with potential clients.Listening means stepping outside one’s own interests, to actually want to know more, and to care what others’ interests are. To not just hear words, but to pay attention to the underlying needs and frames of reference, because in the end, successful sales numbers are the result of effective information gathering. If a salesperson can guide the conversation toward that prospect’s goals, roadblocks, and ambitions, it becomes much easier to design and deliver a pitch. Are you a good listener?

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From talk to action

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Many people are lacking a connection to their purpose or creating fulfilment in their lives. I love telling stories and I’m passionate about the impact and the effects storytelling has on society. Getting clarity in my message so that I can share it with the right people in the right way, so it can help me grow my impact. I think the biggest communication problem is that we don't listen to understand, we listen to reply as you will never get what you love by attacking what you hate. 

As human beings we are moved by emotion, not by information and data. I help people build that emotional connection whether it's in a one to one conversation or if you have to give a presentation in front of many people. Being your true self and conveying the message in a way that is going to connect. Contact me via e-mail for training or workshops about: How to connect with people in ways that influences and moves them?

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Copenhagen Fashion Week 2021

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“Quality is never an accident; it is always the result of high intention, sincere effort, intelligent direction and skillful execution; it represents the wise choice of many alternatives, the cumulative experience of many masters of craftsmanship. Quality also marks the search for an ideal after necessity has been satisfied and mere usefulness achieved.”
— William A. Foster

The commitments

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After spending a little time in London and reconnecting with some of my old Irish friends. We discussed the books which were made into really good films and “The Commitments” came up. The books author, Roddy Doyle has ten tips to get you writing:

1. Be kind to yourself when you start. Fill pages as quickly as possible. See every filled page as a small achievement.

2. Don’t worry about the quality of what you write until after you’ve filled lots of pages.

3. Don’t be too worried about being worried. It’s part of the job. That’s you wondering if what you’re writing is good enough.

4. Give whatever you’re writing a title, as quickly as possible. You can change it later if you don’t like it.

5. Don’t try to plan everything before you start writing. Writing is a bit like making a friend. You gradually get to know him or her.

6. Make writing an important part of your daily – or weekly – routine. Being too busy isn’t an excuse. Write about being too busy!

7. Trust your own language, your own collection of words. You have thousands of words that you can use.

8. Chances are the words that come into your head will do fine, eg “horse”, “ran”, “said”.

9. Change your mind. Good ideas are often killed by better ones.

10. If you want to, show what you’re writing to other people. But remember: your opinion is much more important than theirs.

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What's your story?

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Story is the oldest human technology, it is the way that we communicate an idea to someone else. The story we tell ourselves, it’s the story we tell others about ourselves and we don’t have to tell it in words. It’s a story about oneself, it’s a story about health, sex, commitment. All of those pieces add up to the narrative we have about who we are and how we want other people to see us. Contact me via e-mail and tell me your story.

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What are you grateful for?

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Dr. Robert Emmons said, “You can’t feel envious and grateful at the same time. They’re incompatible feelings, because if you’re grateful, you can’t resent someone for owning things you don’t.” When we express gratitude, our brain releases dopamine and serotonin - two hormones that make us feel lighter and happier inside. I think we experience gratitude when we move our focus from what we don’t have to what we do, and when we take time to appreciate and be thankful for those who have contributed to the abundance in our lives. Contact me via e-mail and let me know what you are grateful for.

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Win, lose or draw

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How many people do you know who are unaffected by praise or blame?We spend on much time reacting to labels, are own and others’. When you win, be kind and when you lose, be kind, most people learn these valuable lesson in kindergarten. I think that to completely disagree with someone and yet engage with them with respect and honesty, is a superpower. I have observed that smart people are not offended by the truth.

“We all need a personal mythology not because it tells us who we are but because it tells us who to aspire to be.”
— David Amerland
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From storytelling to story selling

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Last weekend I had a long discussion with a friend about importance of storytelling. I felt obliged to tell her about my experience with luxury and high-end designer consumer goods. And she switched me on to the term “story-selling”, and the importance of story selling for luxury brands if they want to communicate with a younger audience. This morning I watched an “old” video from Burberry - “The Tale of Thomas Burberry” - well in the fashion world what happened in 2016 is old 😊. This is luxury storytelling at its best! The video combines drama with heritage and at the same time depicts the brand founders life story in 3.5 minutes.

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The devil is in the details

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As an astute executives we strive to develop a sound brand stories. A set of facts that describes how the brand differentiates, resonates with customers and inspires employees. We also recognise that to communicate and gain buy-in to those facts, we would have to create a set of intriguing, authentic signature stories, involving narratives with a strategic message. For example, a signature story perhaps about a founder, employee or customer that illustrates and provides credibility to the brand story.


Would you like to create a brand story that gains attention and diverts people from counter-arguing? Regardless of the industry, I think that brands should not compete on price, you should only compete on storytelling. Contact me via e-mail to arrange a confidential meeting when you are ready to create a clear, interesting and believable brand story.

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Growth is a process!

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There is always room for improvement as you do not just wake up and become a beautiful butterfly (egg > caterpillar > pupa > butterfly). The process is called metamorphosis, a Greek word that means transformation or change in shape.

I think effective communication is when you are really good at delivering the message concisely. We all have a sales process, but in reality, we are not going to dictate to the buyer without creating an incentive for them to bow to our sales process. I always ask myself, “What is the 1% that I want the buyer to walk away with?” Being an effective communicator through stories is an ideal way to differentiate and may lead to the buyer relaying your story to the end-users. This is a skill that I am constantly trying to master - slowing down to speed up.


Sales is a profession and you have to put in the work just like a professional athlete. In sales the outcome is not solely based on the performance, sometimes the performance can be awesome and the outcome mediocre. It’s incredibly valuable to evaluate your sales calls and process. Contact me via e-mail to arrange a meeting or workshop about building your sales process and self reflection tools.

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Communication can unite us

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We all have something to offer but we don’t always have the ability to release it and if it doesn't get out then it may eat you up on the inside. Nobody can live life and not gather experience, and out of those experiences come conclusions and to share those conclusions is to create growth. I have been told throughout my life that the more you give away the more you will receive, this is also the fundamental value of most religions.

Nowadays we have the ability to go into silos of our choice and interact with people who think like us, dress like us and feel like us. You can get your news delivered to you in your flavour or colour, and there’s nothing wrong with that. I think the only problem is when you think that your news is absolute and because we have 24 hours news cycles, and we also have technology that collects our behavioural data and via algorithms directly associates you with your interests. This in turn starts pushing information to you that further supports whatever you were searching for. And this provides a false reality, a reality where you think the world thinks like you.

“Music is the most powerful form of communication in the world. It brings us all together. Even religion separates us, but a hit record unites us across religious beliefs, race, politics. - Sean Combs ”

As we become more tribalistic, we also become more animalistic! Think about how many things have been created to divide us and how few things that has been created to unite us. I think we have to keep speaking to each other, even if we have different opinions, and stop living behind the walls of the labels we put on ourselves.

How can each of you be so certain you are right?

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The Blind Men and the Elephant - A poem by John G. Saxe
A group of blind men heard that a strange animal, called an elephant, had been brought to the town, but none of them were aware of its shape and form. Out of curiosity, they said: "We must inspect and know it by touch, of which we are capable". So, they sought it out, and when they found it they groped about it.


The first blind man reached out and touched the side of the huge animal. "An elephant is smooth and solid like a wall!" he declared. "It must be very powerful." The second blind man put his hand on the elephant's limber trunk. "An elephant is like a giant snake," he announced. The third blind man felt the elephant's pointed tusk. "I was right," he decided. "This creature is as sharp and deadly as a spear." The fourth blind man touched one of the elephant's four legs. "What we have here," he said, "is an extremely large cow." The fifth blind man felt the elephant's giant ear. "I believe an elephant is like a huge fan or maybe a magic carpet that can fly over mountains and treetops," he said. The sixth blind man gave a tug on the elephant's coarse tail. "Why, this is nothing more than a piece of old rope. Dangerous, indeed," he scoffed.


There are quite a few lessons learned from the story of the blind men and the elephant. The elephant is a very large animal and each man touched only one part, it’s only when you put the parts together that you will see the truth. The “elephant” represents many different things in life that we can’t see, so if we don’t remember these limitations, we can get into trouble with ourselves and others. The parable is about a range of truths and mistakes. It’s also about the need for communication and the need for respect for different perspectives and shows the effects of observation and bias. I think we should embrace the diversity of the individual as part of the unity of the collective.

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Smart kids are not always cool

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I was born and raised in London, my parents came from Jamaica and I have been living in Copenhagen since 1997, so I’m always fluctuating between those worlds. I come from the inner city and have seen so much misguided entrepreneurial spirit on the streets. I have met bright, smart hustlers, entrepreneurs who don’t realise their essential product is risk. They have to deal with employees, profit and loss, some of them are extremely sharp and would thrive in the corporate world, but in reality they are not going anywhere because they don’t have the right frame of reference. Inner city kids don’t have access to capital, they have not experienced any world other than their own, they feel isolated and not engaged in the broader community. And from these humble beginnings is why a sub-culture develops.


Anything that is not marketed is not going to be purchased!
You can never become a great communicator if you only understand your own material and not make it relevant to your audience. Connecting is the art of the game. Communication is about connecting with other people and in order to do that you have to listen, learn and understand that your preferences, culture, ideas and concepts are not the only ones on the planet. And if you are going to be effective at meeting more people, you have to be broad enough to at least embrace the notion of how they hear what you are saying. There’s a huge difference between what you intend to communicate and what’s being heard. You have to become bilingual and learn the language of the hearer. Contact me via e-mail for guidance on the survival techniques required to sustain the things you love.