One of the challenges of leadership is recognising that people do not always respond positively to uncomfortable truths. We like to think that if we present the facts clearly enough, others will immediately embrace them. In reality, human beings are influenced not only by evidence, but also by identity, emotion, belonging, and deeply held beliefs. When an idea challenges how people see themselves or the world around them, resistance is often a natural response. This is not necessarily because people are irrational, I think it is because change can feel threatening.
As leaders, coaches, and change agents, this creates an important responsibility. The goal is to communicate it in a way that people can hear and not simply to tell the truth as influence rarely comes from proving that we are right. It will more likely come from understanding where people are, respecting their perspective, and helping them see new possibilities for themselves. Truth matters, empathy matters too, and the most effective leaders understand that lasting change requires both.
Understanding identity
©Monika Aichele c/o The New York Times
When the perception of an external existential threat fades, we often rally around our shared values and beliefs as a nation. It becomes easier to define and quantify what we stand for when we can clearly see what we stand against. However, in the absence of an external adversary, it becomes challenging to articulate our core values. This can lead us to search for something – anything - to oppose, as a way of understanding and reaffirming our identity. I think that when no external threat exists, we turn inward, leading to infighting within our own borders, as we lose the unifying force of a common external challenge to bind us as a tribe.
Why it’s always about you?
If people do a lot of things for others and it makes them feel good about themselves, are they doing it for selfish reasons?
Customers will only ever buy from you because they care about how the product or services will make themselves feel. For example, if Princess Mary is wearing XIII and you wear XIII, you are not wearing XIII because you like Princess Mary. You are wearing XIII because you think you’ll look better in the eyes of your friends and family because you are wearing something that Princess Mary is wearing. It’s for you that you are doing it, it’s not because of Princess Mary, it’s your narrative.
For more about XIII, see www.xiii.dk
I Don't Know
c/o The Independent
I think that the three most powerful words are “I don’t know”.
It’s OK not to have a strong opinion on topics outside of our expertise and I am not a medical professional so many of my answers in 2020 have ended with “I don’t know.”
Burrellism
“What is written without any sense is read without any sympathy.”
