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Understanding how people listen

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I think the basics of human interaction and communication is to speak to others the way you want them to speak to you. I have heard some really bad speakers, but I have never heard a bad speech. When I create material, I try to envisage that I am going to be the receiver, in other words I pretend that I’m in the audience listening to myself. Do you know what I mean? The reason I do this is because I think as a receiver, even if I don’t agree with your point of view, I will appreciate the fact that I am giving an honest effort to delivering what I truly see as the better point of view.


 

Taking a person from a place where they are right now and giving them the tools to invest in a better future. I think ultimately, people buy emotions and then justify their purchase with logic. Here are a 5 tips on how to create a human context speech:
1.     Greet your audience
2.     Explain early what your speech is about
3.     Speak slowly, use short word sentences
4.     Share what you think or how you feel
5.     End your speech with a conclusion

 

Would you like to learn how to write an authentic story that truly connects with your ideal customer? Sales happen when we inspire our customers to invest in a better future, please do not manipulate or trick them as sales professionals our mission is to inspire. Contact me via e-mail for sales training and workshops.

Empathy can drive a lot of value

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Customer retention is so important if you want repeat business and growth. Every successful company, without exception is obsessed with taking good care of their customer experience once they get them. Very few methodologies sell better than offering excelling professional services, but just as importantly you’ll need to provide a great customer service experience. Making your customers so happy at the beginning and end of their interaction with your product or service will ensure that customers keep coming back. 

 

I recently had a terrible experience with British Gas, who sent a letter to my deceased mother, asking her to renew an insurance policy for the boiler in my parents’ house. I spent almost 45 minutes waiting to speak to a human, listening to awful music and even though the recorded voice had prepared me to wait for 35 minutes, the worst was still to come. The young lady (who was human) declared that I could not cancel the direct debit as I was not the person named on the letter - my mother died in June. “You have to speak to the Probate Department., please hang on a minute and I will transfer you.” Another 8 minutes of waiting and more of that awful music, the first question the young man asked me was the date of my mother’s death…
This young man solved my problem and was extremely apologetic. 

 

I just wanted to cancel the direct debit and it took almost one hour with awful music and only 3 minutes of human conversation. This customer service was not good enough if British Gas are to survive in these turbulent times.

Hope is not a strategy

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Who’s in the drivers seat?
Some people go through the day with their fingers crossed and there are other people who are blaming others for their current life situation. My advice is to grow up and take some responsibility:

·      If you wish to be successful, study success.

·      If you wish to be happy, study happiness.

·      If you wish to be wealthy, study wealth.

I think that the only way you can change your economic, social, and spiritual life is through study. You may not be able to do all that you find out, but you should find out all you can do.

“Hope is not a strategy.
Luck is not a factor.
Fear is not an option.”
— James Cameron

Preparation is key

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I think a good salesperson can book a meeting regardless of the product or service. In fact, a good salesperson is not selling the product or service when they ask for a meeting. Instead, the meeting is the product that they’re selling. A good salesperson is selling the value of having a meeting with them. To be effective here, you have to believe that it’s valuable for your potential client to have a meeting with you, regardless of the product or service.

The better prepared you are prior to a negotiation, the more likely it is that the outcome of the negotiation will be satisfactory for both parties involved. Preparation requires that you do two things:

  1. Get all the information that you can about the upcoming negotiation.

  2. Think the negotiation through from beginning to end, and be fully prepared for any eventuality.

The first kind of information you need is about the product or service and the person with whom you will be negotiating via Linkedin. You obtain this information by choosing good questions to ask that are well thought out. In this sense, information becomes a form of power, and the power is always on the side of the person with the best information.

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Confidence is a key leadership quality

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c/o Getty Images

c/o Getty Images

Regulating and balancing feelings of confidence requires considerable self-awareness and knowledge. I have seen really good salespeople lose confidence in their ability to sell simply because of a bad relationship with their boss. It’s normal to feel quite confident in some circumstances and less confident in others, this is influenced by past events and how we remember them. Over-confidence can make you take on projects that are beyond your capability, and you might not be able to complete them, so in the same way that you don’t want to lack confidence, you also don’t want to be over-confident. 

 

Self-confidence is an attitude about your skills and abilities. Self-confidence comes from really feeling good about yourself, and one of the best ways to feel good about yourself is knowing that you did your best in every situation. This state is changeable according to the situation we are currently in and our responses to events going on around us. This knowledge will allow you to accept and trust yourself as you are and generate a sense of control in your life. On the other hand, low self-confidence might make you feel full of self-doubt, be passive or submissive, or have difficulty trusting others. 

 

Are you familiar with the “ACT” acronym?
A = Action, C = Changes and T = Things.
Individual mentoring can also help increase your self-confidence if you need more help contact me via e-mail to arrange a meeting.

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Preaching to the choir

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Think about the times you have sat in an audience - whether in person or on a digital device – listening to a speaker, you are being influenced. It doesn’t matter what they are saying whether you think it is good or bad, how much you agree  or disagree with it, you are being influenced. This morning I looked up the word, influence and according to the Oxford English Dictionary, influence means “the capacity to have an effect on the character, development or behaviour of someone or something, or the effect itself.”

 

Each of us live our lives based on a worldview, and our worldview is essentially one’s spectrum of perceptions from knowledge to beliefs with countless opinions in between. In other words, our worldview consists of our knowledge, our opinions, and our beliefs. And if we have self-confidence, we hold each of these or all of them as truths, not true in that they could be proven, true, in that is how we see it. 

  • Knowledge is what we know with enough certainty and evidence to support it.

  • Beliefs is what we hold as true, although there is no objective or formal evidence to prove it. 

  • Opinions is what we hold with enough evidence to know that is the way we see things.

I can inform someone’s knowledge and if they disagree, I can support my view with enough evidence to convince them unless they just object no matter what. On the other hand, beliefs are what I believe even when I have no direct evidence to support it. Most of us have had beliefs through our lives that changed and became opinions. Opinions are what we hold as true because we have enough evidence and strong enough beliefs to see something as being proper. We have opinions about everything, for example, sports, relationships, health, parenting, leadership, management, etc. The reason why I have different views today than previously is that I have been persuaded to change many of my opinions through additional evidence and by views of others I trust.

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To listen is to pay attention to

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Without the ability to listen effectively messages are easily misunderstood. Most of us listen to the degree we can understand points of agreement or disagreement, or to prepare what to say in response, rather than to learn. And when we do that, we are not so much hearing other people as we are waiting for our turn to speak. Listening is key to all effective communication. I think that if there is one communication skill you should aim to master, then listening is the one.


From the sales perspective listening is the key to all effective communication as this skill is indispensable when seeking to build mutually beneficial relationships with potential clients.Listening means stepping outside one’s own interests, to actually want to know more, and to care what others’ interests are. To not just hear words, but to pay attention to the underlying needs and frames of reference, because in the end, successful sales numbers are the result of effective information gathering. If a salesperson can guide the conversation toward that prospect’s goals, roadblocks, and ambitions, it becomes much easier to design and deliver a pitch. Are you a good listener?

We all have the power to improve

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Pre-pandemic I began a Crucial Conversations course via Vital Smarts, I qualified as a certified Crucial Communications Trainer in February 2020.


What Is a Crucial Conversation?
A crucial conversation is a discussion between two or more people where the stakes are high, opinions vary, and emotions run strong. These conversations - when handled poorly or ignored - lead to strained relationships and dismal results. The education taught me skills for creating alignment and agreement by fostering open dialogue around high-stakes, emotional, or risky topics - at all levels of an organisation. We learned how to speak and be heard and how to encourage others to do the same. 


What Does Crucial Conversations Training Teach?
Crucial Conversations teaches participants how to:
• Speak persuasively, not abrasively
• Foster teamwork and better decision making
• Build acceptance rather than resistance
• Resolve individual and group disagreements


Who Needs Crucial Conversations Training?
Does your organisation suffer from taboo topics, deference, disagreement, analysis paralysis, information hoarding, office politics or alienation? Is your organization battling declining productivity, safety violations, low morale, reduced quality, poor customer satisfaction or other bottom-line concerns? Then you, your team, or your organisation needs Crucial Conversations Training.

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You are never too old to learn

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One of the most valuable skills that a person can have, is the ability to sell anything to anyone by using persuasive skills. According to Harvard University, persuasion lies at the heart of our personal and professional lives. Whether the goal is to convince one person in a face-to-face encounter, influence a group in a meeting, sway an entire organisation, or win over the public, the capacity to persuade is pivotal to effective leadership. Being a great salesperson opens many doors of opportunity, especially for entrepreneurs and business owners.

 

Here are 5 sales tips:
1.     Understand your customer’s needs.
2.     Research who will buy your products or services. 
3.     Ask questions.
4.     Sell yourself.
5.     Don’t just sell, guide the buyer through a process.

 

I think that in sales and business the future belongs to the people who ask for what they want. Therefore, if you want to change your future act now and contact me via e-mail for sales training and workshops.

Our clients always come first

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How you approach life says a lot about who you are. As I get older, I have learned to focus more on experiences that bring meaning and fulfilment to my life. I try to consistently pursue life goals that will make me and my closest relations happy; this is a trait that many individuals search for their entire lives. I think that nothing gives a person inner wholeness and peace like a distinct understanding of where they are going, how they can get there, and a sense of control over their actions. Contact me via e-mail and let me have your thoughts on happiness.

“Most powerful is he who has himself in his own power.”
— Seneca

According to the World Happiness Report 2012, “No people can be truly happy if they do not feel that they are choosing the course of their own life.” The report also found that having this freedom of choice is one of the six factors that explain why some people are happier than others. Nordic countries, including Denmark, Norway, Sweden, Finland and Iceland, have appeared on the top 10 of the World Happiness Report since it started publishing its annual rankings in 2012.

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Stop and smell the roses

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Happiness is an inside job, you really should not assign anyone else that much power over your life. Most people operate on autopilot, doing the same things today that didn’t work yesterday. They rarely stop to measure the impact of their actions on themselves and others, and how those actions affect their total well-being. As you stop to literally smell the roses, you start to realise other areas in your life where you could slow down a little to enjoy the beauty that surrounds you.


Many people wait for something to happen or someone to help them live their best lives. They expect others to make them happy and they think they have lost the ability to improve their lives. I think there are three components of happiness - something to do, someone to love, and something to look forward to. Think about it, if we have useful work, sustaining relationships, and the promise of pleasure, it is hard to be unhappy. And I use the term “work” to encompass any activity, paid or unpaid, that gives us a feeling of personal significance. If your daily actions and choices are making you unhappy, contact me via e-mail and let's arrange a meeting.

My word is my bond

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I think life’s two most important questions are: “Why?” and “Why not?” and the trick is knowing which one to ask. Acquiring some understanding of why we do things is often a prerequisite to change. This is especially true when talking about repetitive patterns of behaviour that do not serve us well. This is what Socrates meant when he said, “The unexamined life is not worth living.”

“I have no control over who people think I am, so I don’t worry about it and definitely do not seek their approval. ”
— Burrellism

I learn something new from each client and this allows me to keep learning. Another tip would be to read veraciously, there are so many good books and the internet is full of knowledge, so choose carefully. What has kept me in sales is meeting people who are doing something interesting that I can learn something about. 

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Sales is the key

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I think that there are far too many people who are teaching sales who have never sold anything. I have lived in Copenhagen since 1997, so I have had the opportunity to embrace the Danish culture and values, which I admire and respect. Having a natural cross cultural understanding, combined with strong interpersonal skills and the ability to communicate with both internal and external stakeholders across the spectrum - from decision makers in the boardroom to factory workers - has been demonstrated throughout my career.


Selling is a wide subject, covering many selling methods, sales theories, models and sales training methods. Would you like to close the gap between global strategies and local execution?
I can guide your sales excellence team by optimising the sales process, developing sales programs, and conducting sales training globally. Remember, life is not designed to give us what we want or what we need, life is designed to give us what we deserve. Who is responsible for developing and implementing sales operating models? Who should I contact in your organisation?

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What is holding you back?

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Culture and employee engagement are a rising topic in business and when people know that their contribution matters to their company, they are less likely to leave. I think organisations that intentionally create and cultivate a healthy culture are more likely to earn the trust and loyalty of their stakeholders. According to David Sturt there are 6 aspects of a great company culture:

  1. Purpose - connecting employees to your organisation’s reason for being or the difference you make in the world.

  2. Opportunity - providing employees the ability to learn new skills, develop, and contribute.

  3. Success - giving employees the opportunity to innovate, do meaningful work and be on winning teams.

  4. Appreciation - acknowledging and recognising employees’ outstanding work and unique contributions.

  5. Well-being - paying attention to and constantly working to improve employees’ physical, social, emotional, and financial health.

  6. Leadership - connecting employees to purpose, empowering them to do great work, and creating a sense of camaraderie.

You can watch David Sturt’s brilliant “Can talking to strangers boost your creativity?” TED Talk here.

Everyone is looking for answers

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Yesterday an accountant asked me a question, “What is marketing for?”

My answer went a little like this: “I think marketing is about making change happen. Marketing works, therefore, as marketing professionals then each and every one of us are responsible for the effects and side effects of what we do.”


 

Accountant: “Who do want our customers to become?”
Me: “Marketing is the act of going into the world with intention to make a change happen. I use marketing to convert non-customers into customers. Sometimes, I help my customers become the person(s) they seek to be, and I help to create an environment that I think my customers want to see happen. Turning people from this to that!”


Accountant: “What are you going to spend all this time and money trying to do?”
Me: “I seek to help you become somebody who can make the change in the world that you want to be responsible for and be proud of. I seek to make an impact and clarify to the market the direction you are heading, leveraging the activity by using marketing tools to make a change happen.”

 

You are reading this because you are a passionate and caring human being. Contact me via e-mail and tell me about the change you are trying to make for your organisation.

Conscious crisis

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We are prepared by our biology to eat and sleep, mate and nurture, fight or flee, and exhibit all the other built-in survival responses in the human repertoire. Sometimes you must go down before you come up and most of these journeys must be taken alone. And in the dark times, one may have little but trust your own inner process and go on. I think that there is great power in self-reliance! And to me this simply means that you should look at yourself and take responsibility for your actions. I’m the person responsible and I have learned the necessary skills to help people learn their skills via my training and workshops. I have found this simple mindful awareness to be extremely rewarding because I have an empathic concern for others.

“Those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music.”
— Friedrich Nietzsche
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The magnificent obsession

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In general, leaders expect to influence how people think and behave at work, but they feel ill equipped to understand and actively manage how employees feel and express their emotions at work. I love sitting down with experts, people who have dedicated their lives to understanding more about human behaviour and the dynamics of how the mind works. Contact me if you feel stuck and you are trying to figure out your life purpose.

The Holocaust survivor and psychologist Viktor Frankl stated in his book “Man’s Search for Meaning,” that a person can withstand just about anything as long as they have a purpose to strive for. I have found that people who have purpose in their lives, have something to go for. Purpose is the thing that pushes us into the future, some people are always pulled back by their past and some people are always pulled aside by distractions. I think that when you have a list high purposes in your life it will push you towards the future. The clearer the purpose, the stronger the desire to fulfil and achieve your purpose.