advice

I am what I am

I recently asked my partner what advice she would give to her younger self. Her answer was simple: “This too shall pass.” Beautiful. It made me think about what advice I would give to my younger self:

  1. Own your power.

  2. Be comfortable taking risks.

  3. It is easier to ask for forgiveness than permission.

  4. Never dim your light to make someone else feel more comfortable.

  5. Celebrate your victories.

  6. Don't be afraid of making mistakes.

  7. Enjoy every moment. Life is a journey, not a destination.

  8. This is not a dress rehearsal, so make sure you go for it.

I think the most important lesson I have learned: When you empower others, you don't diminish your own power, you multiply it. Your success does not have to come at someone else's expense. When you create space for others to grow, succeed and use their own strengths, you amplify your own impact in the process. We often think success is about how much we can achieve ourselves, perhaps the greater measure is how many other people become more successful because we were willing to empower them.

““Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” ”
— John 8:32

Hold your space

We often think that we add value by leaping in and giving advice. We don't even think about it because we've been taught that as soon as someone starts talking, a part of our brain goes: 'Let me interrupt them and tell them the answer.' However, even when you have the right answer, you have to ask yourself what the appropriate leadership act is. I've learned to hold my space and allow others to figure things out for themselves. Don't give them the answer, even when you know it.

Free consultative advice

What becomes more and more evident is that consultants who approach their clients with a highly strategic mindset and lead with valuable insights and advice, tend to achieve better outcomes compared to those who simply position themselves as low-cost options. When we delve into possessing business acumen and comprehending the underlying reasons behind our clients' or potential clients' need for change within the next 12 to 18 months, we uncover factors that will profoundly impact their businesses. These are the aspects with significant implications, and our role is to identify how we can assist them. I think we possess an abundance of valuable insights that we often fail to acknowledge, which our clients would truly appreciate.

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Life is just a moment

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There are times when we all long for a simple way out, a procedure to follow rather than a process to understand. I think a mentor is someone who shares their knowledge, skills, and experience, to help another to develop and grow; and a coach is someone who provides guidance to a client on their goals and helps them reach their full potential. There is no reason why you cannot be both a coach and mentor, as the skillsets required to fulfil these roles are similar and to some degree interchangeable, for example, forming relationships to help a person develop. They are both rooted in learning and training and require a level of trust, respect, and communication in order to work.

 

When I am coaching, I usually coach on a specific topic or skill and focuses on “you”. I expect that after coaching this specific topic or skill you will be able to perform in a day-to-day basis using the knowledge gained from it. When mentoring, I’m focused on the present and future whilst using my experience and perspectives gained from the past elevate and evolve the current relationships. Does this make sense? Contact me now to book your coaching and mentoring sessions.

7 things not to do

1. Don’t be overheard complaining...even to yourself

2. Don’t speak more than you listen

3. Don’t tie your identity to your possessions

4. Don’t compare yourself to others

5. Don’t suffer imagined troubles

6. Don't judge others

7. Don’t be all about business

“If you’re good at something never, do it for free.”
— Heath Ledger

Advice from Warren Buffett

“Eat well.
Read books.
Study yourself.
Expand your mind.
Do better and get better.
You are your greatest investment.”
— Warren Buffett
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We all have issues

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Image c/o Afro-Punk

Image c/o Afro-Punk

Mental Health Awareness Month has been observed in the month of May since 1949 in the United States. I am in Europe and still thought it relevant to write a little about the topic. Those of you who are regular readers know that throughout my life I have continuously observed human behaviour and consider myself to be mentally strong. I have been exposed to trauma, stigma and systemic discrimination on a daily basis, so I wanted to highlight that we all make mistakes and no one is perfect. Rather than beat myself up for my mistakes, I focus on learning from them and accept full responsibility for my behaviour and then I choose to move forward in a productive manner. How do you feel about making mistakes?

Disclaimer: The content below is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
10 things mentally strong people won't do:

  1. They don’t dwell on mistakes.

  2. They don’t hang around negative people.

  3. They don’t stop believing in themselves.

  4. They don’t wait for an apology to forgive.

  5. They don’t feel sorry for themselves.

  6. They don’t hold grudges.

  7. They don’t allow anyone to limit their joy.

  8. They don’t limit the joy of others.

  9. They don’t get lazy.

  10. They don’t get negative or bitter.

Don’t let the world make you hard, don’t let the pain make you hate and don’t let the bitterness steal your sweetness.

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As we are entering the last days of 2020, I think it’s time to offer some “friendly” advice…

Don't be impressed by:

1. Money

2. Job titles

3. Appearances

4. Experience

5. Affiliations

6. Imitations

7. Big words


Be impressed by:

1. Kindness

2. Trustworthiness

3. Unselfish generosity

4. Humility

5. Good manners

6. Courage to dare, dream and do

7. Integrity and benevolence