Many coaching session starts with this question: What would be important for you to achieve in this session?

The goal belongs to the client, not the coach. Perhaps they want to be seen differently as a leader, have a difficult conversation, understand a recurring reaction, gain more confidence, or simply make sense of something that is happening.

From there, we explore. I listen carefully to what they are saying, reflect what I am hearing, and ask questions that help them look at the situation from different perspectives. We explore the thoughts, emotions, assumptions, beliefs and behaviours sitting beneath the issue.

Sometimes I might say: “This is what I hear you saying. I wonder if this is what is happening underneath it, but I could be wrong.”

The aim is not for me to provide the answer. It is to help the person discover something for themselves. When they say, “I get it,” I might ask: “What is it that you have got?” That question matters, as articulating the new awareness helps turn an insight into something they can actually use.

Then we move towards action: What are you going to do with this awareness? What will you do differently? What are you willing to commit to?

Coaching creates a space where you can put your dreams, fears, emotions and assumptions on the table, step back from them, and ask: What is really going on here? I think this is where clarity begins.