One of the most concerning social trends of recent decades is what researchers have called the "friendship recession." In the United States, the percentage of men reporting that they have no close friends increased from approximately 3% in 1990 to 15% in 2021, a fivefold increase. At the same time, the number of men reporting large friendship circles has declined significantly. I find myself wondering what the numbers look like in Denmark, the UK, and other countries. If you are familiar with the research where you live, I would be interested to hear your perspective.

What makes this trend particularly important is that men remain less likely to seek professional support when they are struggling. Strong social connections are not simply a nice-to-have; they are closely linked to wellbeing, resilience, and mental health. I also think this has implications for relationships. In many heterosexual partnerships, women often carry a disproportionate share of the emotional labour, whether that involves initiating difficult conversations, managing conflict, maintaining family relationships, or encouraging partners to seek support when needed.

The question is not whether men are capable of emotional intelligence as we clearly are. The question is whether many of us have been socialised to develop and express it. As author and educator Levi Murray has observed, "Patriarchy is working against men's full human development." For me, this is a conversation about connection and not about blame. How do we create a culture where men feel able to build deeper friendships, ask for support, and engage more openly with their own emotional lives? Send me an email with your thoughts.