Actions give beliefs somewhere to live, and maybe the same is true of kindness. Some of the kindest people I have encountered have experienced extraordinary unkindness themselves. They know what it feels like to be dismissed, excluded, judged or made to feel small. Perhaps that is why they choose differently, as they remember how those experiences felt and consciously choose not to pass that pain on to someone else. Their kindness is not weakness; it is a decision to break the cycle. We are not defined solely by what has happened to us. We are also defined by what we choose to do with what has happened to us.