When we tie our identity to external achievements, we actually become more fragile, not stronger. The brain interprets failure as a threat, for example, if I don’t reach this goal, I’m not good enough, and this triggers a stress response.

True resilience comes from knowing you are secure in who you are, regardless of whether you win or lose. It still hurts when things don’t go your way and that’s human. I think that instead of getting stuck in “protect mode,” try shifting your mind into “learning and growth mode.” One simple and powerful way to do that? Spend time with people who lift you up. Social connection releases oxytocin, which calms the brain and helps you recover faster from setbacks.