There is a difference between the front stage and the backstage of our lives. The front stage is the public domain: the spaces we share with strangers, colleagues and communities. The backstage is more personal, where different rules apply. In public spaces, however, there are a set of largely unwritten rules that help us navigate life together. We may not consciously think about them, yet we rely on them constantly. I think part of this is because the brain is a prediction machine. We are constantly anticipating what is likely to happen next, and when people behave in ways that fit our expectations, the world feels predictable and easier to navigate.

I was recently in London where I was using public transport and it makes sense to allow passengers to get off before attempting to board regardless of it’s the bus, train or underground. It is just a simple flow system, and the same principle applies to queues, doorways, escalators and crowded spaces. When we crowd a stranger or ignore the natural flow of movement, we create unnecessary friction. Understanding these invisible rules is both about having good manners and social intelligence.