Who is available to receive your frustration and who actually has the power to change the situation?

Don’t argue with an employee who cannot change the rules. Don’t take your frustration out on the person who happens to be available when the person responsible is somewhere else. If something has gone wrong, direct your complaint towards the people who have the authority and influence to change the outcome. The person standing in front of you may simply be carrying out a decision they had no part in making. And I think there is something else worth remembering: nothing reveals character faster than how we treat people who cannot fight back, cannot change the situation and cannot give us what we want.

Patience with the person who didn’t cause the problem and cannot fix it is not weakness. It is a choice about who we want to be when we have every opportunity to direct our frustration at the wrong person. A useful question to end on could be: When you are frustrated, do you look for someone to blame, or someone who can actually help?