In many societies, people are often socialised to evaluate relationships through the lens of utility. We learn to ask what value something provides, what opportunities it creates, or what status it confers. While this way of thinking can be useful in certain contexts, it can also shape how we relate to one another. In workplaces, this may show up when mentorship gives way to competition and relationships become primarily transactional. In personal relationships, some men are taught that their value lies in what they can provide rather than who they are. Financial success, status, and achievement can become substitutes for emotional connection, vulnerability, and intimacy.

I think this dynamic can also influence friendships. Many men find it easier to connect through shared activities, work, or practical tasks than through conversations about emotions, struggles, or personal experiences. As a result, meaningful connection is sometimes postponed until there is a specific reason to reach out. The challenge is that human beings need more than utility, we need belonging, trust, and genuine connection. The strongest relationships, whether in leadership, friendship, or partnership, are built not only on what we can do for one another, but on our willingness to be seen, understood, and valued as people.